German tourist: You can’t smoke inside and you can’t drink outside. What the hell do you people do in New York City? –Carroll Gardens Overheard by: Christopher
Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category
Punchlines without Straightlines
Very Straight Guy: Hey, it’s not like I’m giving Ellen DeGeneres a claddagh ring! –Jeremy’s Ale House Overheard by: Megan Buckley
The Virtue of Selfishness
Pastry Shop Worker: Is anyone willing to give up their seat for a girl that has to stand on her feet all day?
Train Riders: [SILENCE]
Pastry Shop Worker: Come on, all you guys just go sit in front of your computers every day, how damn hard is that? I have to make shit for people and stand on my feet all day. You people are so selfish!
–6 Train
Now That You Mention It…
Crazy Old Lady: I can’t do it. What could I do? Do you want to kill me? –Bensonhurst
Let’s Pluck Him and Stuff Our Coats
Businesswoman: It’s mighty ducky today.
Hobo: Quack!
–Wall Street
Insane NYC Scenes
A man throws a paper coffee cup on the ground, walks a few steps, then shouts: Clean that shit up! –45th & 6th A bag lady approaches a stranger and says: You gotta stop lyin’ to people. –110th & Broadway
Hold the Mayo
Woman: Having sex with him was the same as eating a slice of plain Wonder bread while looking in the window of a Crate and Barrel. –York & 70th
Not Even Bong Barbie?
Hipster chick: Ugh, dolls. Dolls are so creepy. I’m never letting my kid have a doll. Drugs, yes. Dolls, no. –UES
New York is not America
Guy on cell: Yeah, our lives suck but at least John Kerry was elected President. Oh, wait! I have to hang up now and go kill myself. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Alice Ayers
I Go to Church to Pick Up Couples
GOP Chick #1: It’s not so much the church as the people.
GOP Chick #2: What’s wrong with the people?
GOP Chick #1: There’s a lot of singles.
–New York Young Republicans Party, Flatiron District