Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category

When He Caught an Episode Of The Bad Girls' Club, He Went Into a Coma.

Woman, as train stops: Mmm-mm… Excuse you!
Younger man: Huh?
Woman: You cut in front of me.
Younger man: How did I cut in front of you? You get up, and the people closer to the door go first. Like on a plane.
Woman: You cut in front of me, and a gentleman never cuts in front of a lady.
Younger man: Right. And a lady doesn't go “mmm-mm… Excuse you!”

–Grand Central Platform

You Cheeky Wednesday One-Liners!

Girl to roommate, after dog-sitting: I'm sad… I don't have anyone to stick their wet nose in my tushy.

–96th St & West End

Guy dressed as Santa: I just need my butt to evaporate.

–6th Ave & Waverly

Older black dude to another: She know I ain't go fuck with her, as big as her ass is.

–10th Ave & 28th St

Overheard by: julie

Frustrated tall boy: Does it look like I have an ass? No! It does not!

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny Lawrence

Are There No Applebee's? Are All the Olive Gardens Full?

Woman at table: Ugh, I can't believe they would do that! It's so rude!
Friend: Who? What?
Woman: Bring a child out. (motions to screaming toddler two tables away)
Friend: Well, it's not like they farted or something.
Woman: Still, it's gross. This isn't Connecticut, and there should be laws–for everyone's safety!

–Dos Caminos, Soho

Overheard by: Tommy

Overheard in Wednesday One-Liner

20-something dude to another: It's so hard to get laid in this city before 11 pm!

–M-15 Bus

Hottie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white person.

–28th & 29th

Overheard by: A black person from Chicago

20-something male to female: So you'd better be prepared. It's like the Times Square of New York.

–16th St & Union Square

Overheard by: Annie B

Middle-aged Hispanic dude to Indian salesperson: This is New York City. Nobody's gonna kill you, okay?

–Rite-Aid

Young gay man: That's what I hate about New York City. It's such a fucking small town.

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: molls