Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category

Ever Since It Didn’t Happen Yet, Things Just Haven’t Been the Same

College kid: They should put up a question on the big screen that says, ‘Who fucked up the playoffs two years in a row for us: A) Number 13, B) ARod, C) Alex Rodriguez, or D) All of the above?
Friend: … Or maybe Kevin Brown.
Man in front of them: The future ain’t what it used to be…

–Yankee Stadium

Wednesday One-Liners Shoot from the Hip

Hipster to friends: Are you kidding me?! I wouldn’t fuck her with Tim’s* dick and Steve* pushing!

–Capone’s, Wiliamsburg

Hipster boy to hipster girl after hardhat made degrading comment: Why are there never any gay men ogling guys? It’s not that I’m gay, but an ogle or two wouldn’t hurt.

–Soho

Hipster chick: Yeah, glitter is, like, the herpes of arts and crafts.

–Bleecker & Broadway

Overheard by: Ella

Hipster hoochie: … And then we found that guy who had a rock of crack, and we smoked it together!

–The Levy, Williamsburg

Overheard by: The Sock

Hipster selling doilies at stoop sale: I bought these when I was going through my doily phase.

–Williamsburg

Hipster dude: I never want to invite him, but he’d never actually show up, so it’s cool.

–St. Mark’s Pl