Archive for the ‘Ground Zero’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Thought Felicity Huffman Deserved that Oscar

Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?

–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave

Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.

–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel

TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: Limey

Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’

–26th St

Overheard by: agrees with that girl

College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?

–114th & Broadway

Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.

–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn

Wednesday One-Liners Have Lost Their Group

Teenage boy tourist: Times Square is by far the coolest part of New York. It’s almost like heaven!

–Times Square

A tourist is craning his neck to photograph the Empire State Building.

New Yorker: What is he looking at?! … Oh.

–34th & 5th

Tourist: There isn’t anywhere within walking distance.

–53rd & Lex

Overheard by: Not a Clueless Tourist

Hobo, after stealing someone’s luggage: Tourists need to be more careful when they come to New York City.

–6th Ave & 23rd St

Overheard by: BOB Sled

Tourist dropping money in front of frozen female mime he’s been staring at for five minutes: That was truly incredible. Thank you so much.

–Outside MoMA

Tourist: I guess we should go to the Ground Zeroes.

–5th Ave & 13th St

Overheard by: Sally Tomato

Thug: Just push them out of the way. They’re tourists, they’ll love it.

–Times Square

Overheard by: duffduff

New York Agrees: Wednesday One-Liners Are the People’s Choice

Hobo: All Democrats must dye their hair pink! All Democrats must dye their hair pink. Pink is the color of pussies! Therefore, all Democrats are pussies!

–16th & 8th

Overheard by: My hair isn’t pink and I’m voting for Spitzer


Man having trouble with the levers on his voting machine
: Wait, I know what the problem is…I’m a Republican!


–Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Not a Republican


Young fireman to conspiracy nut
: You liberal bastard. I hope you die

in a fire. Motherfucker.

–Ground Zero

Overheard by: Jeremy C.


Hobo walking in the rain, yelling
: All Democrats are Al Sharpton cock-suckers! The only question is do they spit or swallow the cum!


–12th St & 5th Ave


Wednesday One-Liners Are on Red Alert

Guy accepting donations: Help feed the homeless! Even terrorists can help feed the homeless!

–34th & 7th

Overheard by: sugar ray mcgrath Hobo: If you see an unattended bag or package, please report it to the nearest New York Police Officer or MTA worker. If one is not around, tell me. I’ll open that shit up. –4 train, Fulton St Overheard by: Laura Hobo, to tourist family taking group photo: Terrorist! Terrorist! Terrorist!

–C Train, 72nd St

Overheard by: Barry P. British tourist: But there were two Empire State buildings, right? That fell? –WTC site Overheard by: J Bird Girl: Last night, I was so drunk I forgot about 9/11.

–NYU

Overheard by: Bronwyn Lady to nervous woman: Can I ask you a question? I ain’t a terrorist or nothin’. I’m from New Haven. –111th & Broadway Overheard by: Fudd British bloke: You mean they don’t have any missiles here, in Manhattan? –Grand & Broadway Overheard by: jcm

Sadly Not Beyond the Realm of Possibility

Kid presses call button on commuter hotline phone.

Father: Why did you do that?
Son: I’m sorry. I didn’t know what it was.
Father: If you do that again the police will arrest you.
Son: Really?
Father: Yes, George Bush will come and take you to jail.
Son: What?
Father: He will kill you and put your picture on the Wall of Memories [Ground Zero feature].

–World Trade Center PATH station

Wednesday One-Liners Are Gaga in Gotham

Ghetto girl on cell: How you ‘spect me to find you? This map has, like, so many places on it! –Brooklyn Botanical Gardens Overheard by: vix Tourist: But we are in SoHo! –16th & 6th Overheard by: Yours Truly Tourist to MTA agent: Which train do I need to take to get to South Ho? –W 4th St subway station Overheard by: Emily Teenage tourist: Ohmigod…CBGB… BCBG…Whatever. We totally have to go! –22rd & 5th Overheard by: zr Tourist lady, pointing to Liberty Island: There are people over there. Why are there people over there?! –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Not quite sure Jappy tourist: Hey, we’re trying to get back to New York Island; do you know the best way to get to 48th and 8th Avenue? –2nd St between A & B Overheard by: Where Am I? Yuppie tourist: Christina, Christina! Is this Ground Zero? –5th Ave, outside Plaza Hotel Overheard by: D