Chick: Where are we going?
Guy: The Junction.
Chick: Why are we going to the Junction?
Guy: Because you’re a loser. Because you question me.
–D Train
Archive for the ‘Guys’ Category
2+3=4?
Guy: It seems like the first couple of seasons of the Sopranos were exciting, but the last few have been boring. –D Train
Fun at the Post Office
A young man apparently cuts the line at the PO.
Old Italian: Hey, there’s a line here buddy.
Young guy: I waited already, I got money orders.
Old Italian: I didn’t see you anywhere near the line.
Young guy: I got money orders before and now I’m mailing them.
Old Italian: We’ve all got orders. Geez, no one wants to wait on line any more. And now the guy’s serving him.
Young guy: Shut up.
Old Italian: Ah, get lost, you idiot. If I was five years younger I would put you up against the wall.
Postal Worker: Next.
Old Italian: How much to send this express mail?
Postal Worker: $13.65.
Old Italian: Maron.
–Bensonhurst
No More Enemas, Huh?
Gray-haired Man: I can get a hell of a lot more with my finger than I can with that. –East of Eighth, 23rd St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley
And What’s Her Number?
Guy: She does the hard stuff first. She leaves the fun and easy stuff for the end. –Funayama, Greenwich Village
Overheard Advice
Guy #1: So I’m not sure what to do.
Guy #2: If you want to know something from somebody, get them drunk.
–8th Street N/R Station
Malice Goes to Style Court
Guy: Who would you rather have sex with? The girl with the lazy eye or the fat chick?
Girl: Lazy eye.
Guy: Yeah, she’s got a good body.
–Style Court Audience
Overheard by: Tibbie X
And I Don’t Mean His Voice
Opera Fan: Well the best thing about it is, he’s the closest thing we have to a castrato today. –UES
Not Literally, I Hope
Guy: We’re all stuck in a loop of bullshit. –Odessa, Ave. A
Speaking Algebraic
Guy #1: He’s not down with it.
Guy #2: What do you mean, he’s not down with it?
Guy #1: Don’t worry, he’s going to be down with it.
Guy #2: How’s he going to be down with it?
Guy #1: We’ll make him down with it.
–Ave. A