Man: If I punch Spongebob in the face, it would be because he is living at a higher moral standard than me, as a role model to children. –Toys ‘R Us, Times Square
Guy #1: Do you think you could ever date her?
Guy #2: I don’t know.
Guy #1: Why not?
Guy #2: I can’t picture myself having sex with her. –Tower Records, 66th & Broadway Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
An old woman is drumming up contributions for the SPCA.
Young Man: Good luck!
Old Woman: We don’t need luck, we need cooperation. Does Bush say good luck to the soldiers? No, he just sends in more troops! Come on! Don’t be a phony. –Kinko’s, 20th St. and 6th Ave. Overheard by: Lucian Piane
Guy: I’m crazy about her! Every time I go down on her, her pussy tastes like hummus!
Overheard by: Nicole Weber
Guy: We’ve got to tell Allison, because she had Paulreubens.com until he made her stop. –8th Ave. & 6th St.
Young man in a cafe in Williamsburg: “So, what do you do?”
Older man: “I’m an artist–and one of my works is in the Whitney.” – Grand Cafe, Williamsburg
Guy : Yeah, Portland’s great…if you’re into heroin! –East Village
Guy: Has anyone ever accidentally dated you and your sister at the same time? –Diner, 22nd and 9th Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Guy on cell: Yeah, our lives suck but at least John Kerry was elected President. Oh, wait! I have to hang up now and go kill myself. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Alice Ayers
Guy: I massaged this girl today. She might as well have been a shar-pei. –Restivo’s, 22nd and 7th Overheard by: Steven Coombs