Guy: She does the hard stuff first. She leaves the fun and easy stuff for the end. –Funayama, Greenwich Village
Archive for the ‘Guys’ Category
Overheard Advice
Guy #1: So I’m not sure what to do.
Guy #2: If you want to know something from somebody, get them drunk.
–8th Street N/R Station
Malice Goes to Style Court
Guy: Who would you rather have sex with? The girl with the lazy eye or the fat chick?
Girl: Lazy eye.
Guy: Yeah, she’s got a good body.
–Style Court Audience
Overheard by: Tibbie X
And I Don’t Mean His Voice
Opera Fan: Well the best thing about it is, he’s the closest thing we have to a castrato today. –UES
Not Literally, I Hope
Guy: We’re all stuck in a loop of bullshit. –Odessa, Ave. A
Speaking Algebraic
Guy #1: He’s not down with it.
Guy #2: What do you mean, he’s not down with it?
Guy #1: Don’t worry, he’s going to be down with it.
Guy #2: How’s he going to be down with it?
Guy #1: We’ll make him down with it.
–Ave. A
How to succeed and make lots of money
Young man comes up to the manager of a cafe in Brooklyn sitting next to me, inquires about the “help wanted” ad outside, and during the course of an impromptu job interview says, “I just wanted to tell you that for my emotional health I can’t work too hard, and especially I can’t move my wrists that much. So how hard would I work here?”
The Good Old Days of LSD and Assassinations
Ranting guy: You don’t remember the ’60s! You weren’t there! It was a blur! –E. 4th St. & Ave. B Overheard by: Chaoskitty
Maybe I’m Squeezing You Too Hard (AKA Escape from the Port Authority)
Guy: Dude, is it just me, or does it hurt when you pee too? –Port Authority Overheard by: Kris
Return to the Port Authority
Guy on Cell: Have you ever tried to masturbate while Michael Jackson’s “Rock With You” is playing in the background? Well, it’s more difficult than you think… –Port Authority Overheard by: Michael Roche