Guy on cell: Yeah, our lives suck but at least John Kerry was elected President. Oh, wait! I have to hang up now and go kill myself. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Alice Ayers
Guy: I massaged this girl today. She might as well have been a shar-pei. –Restivo’s, 22nd and 7th Overheard by: Steven Coombs
Teenage guy: Dude, I just coughed up a little speck of blood. Do you think I could have another cigarette or is that a bad idea? –68th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Cully
Guy: Hey, Paul! What’s up?
Paul: Oh, I’m just going to hang myself. I mean, get some coffee. –57th & Lex Overheard by: Heather
Guy: You are a compelling argument against homosexuality. You are a very pretty girl. –72nd St Station
Dude #1: I’m gonna stand up as I turn. I’d like you to kick me in the nuts. The idea is to black out, end up in the hospital, and push this off on someone else. Ready?
Dude #2: I was born ready. –59th & Park
Guy: So let me get this straight. First, you sleep with my brother, then you get pregnant, then– –LES Partially Overheard by: Matty Sallin
Guy: Of course I’ve drank kerosene. But it wasn’t like I used a cup, though. I used a siphon. –Astoria Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Guy: Success is always coming between us. It’s always been that way, and will continue to be that way. –Pay phone, Cobble Hill
Guy: Yeah, man, that’s true. But you have to keep in mind that while you’re emotionally emasculated, he’s physically emasculated, and there’s a helluva difference. –Knitting Factory Overheard by: Patrick Taylor