Archive for the ‘Gyms’ Category

And How Do Wednesday One-Liners Make You Feel?

Mother, to crying four-year-old trying to grasp her hand: If you don’t stop this behavior you are going to have to see a psychiatrist. [Child keeps at tantrum] This behavior is excessive and abnormal, and I don’t have the patience for it. –Washington G Station Stern bimbette: No. My fave dead therapist said that I need to make sure that I surround myself with people who are nice to waiters and their moms. –Court Street & Joralemon, Brooklyn NYU chick, calmly: So then I just had a teeny little breakdown! –West 4th St Woman on cell: So where are you? [pause] Is that "Therapy" the bar or therapy therapy? –Manhattan Plaza Gym, 43rd St Girl on cell: Don’t you think I’m a psycho? [pauses, laughs] Why not? –Bedford and North 7th 20-something homo: Scientology is just like therapy except without the stigma of therapy. –52nd & 9th Overheard by: Trey Givens

Appearance Is All That Really Matters

Blonde: So, I told him for months that this was my weekend.
Brunette: Our weekend.
Blonde: Right, my weekend. So his parents are coming to help him move into his new apartment, and is it bad if I don’t help and I go to the Hamptons instead?
Brunette: No. Did he say anything to make you think that?
Blonde: No, I thought of it on my own.
Brunette: You look super tan.
Blonde: Thanks! –Equinox gym

Fuck the Contest. I’m Joining That Gym!

Workout girl #1: It feels so sticky when I put it on my lips.
Workout girl #2: That’s why you don’t stick your fingers all the way inside it. –Synergy Gym, Astoria Overheard by: Wog Headline by: Rocks N Socks Runners-Up:
· “How to Eat a Bowl Of Ice Cream Without a Spoon” – Karl
· “Life Without a Toilet Plunger…” – Jackster
· “Oh Cum On!” – Mike
· “The Rim Is All You Need…” – Steph
· “Winnie The Pooh Had The Same Problem With His Honeypot” – Sticky Thump
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

You’re Invited to My Circle Jerk

30-something #1: What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?
30-something #2: Getting high and masturbating.
30-something #1: Man, married life is great. –Palladium Gym, NYU Headline by: Pseudonym Runners-Up: · “Because she’s out shopping for a vibrator” – trish · “He celebrates Palm Sunday the same way” – Kate · “He’s An Up & Comer” – Rod W · “Little Johnny took the comeback “If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” a little too seriously.” – Cloud · “When Harry Met Righty” – Vasyl
Click here to see the new Headline Contest