Archive for the ‘Hair’ Category

You Never Complain About My Mustache When You're Riding It

Drunk girl to hipster boyfriend: How come my hair always gets stuck in your mustache?!
Boy: I don't have a mustache.
Drunk girl: You know what I meant, boy! A beard! My hair always gets caught on it! Do you ever get food in there? Or coffee? Do you get a little sick if you sleep with a wet mustache? (pause) Oh, I'm just messing… (laughs at herself) but I hope you've been washing that thing with shampoo and conditioner every day!

–West Village

Another Conversation Comes to a Split End

Pretty brunette: Oh my god! I haven't seen you in forever! Look at you, you dyed your hair. It looks great!
Pretty blonde: Oh, thanks! Hah, yeah, I did it a year ago. I wanted to change things up a little.
Pretty brunette, in jest: So, is it true? Do you have more fun now?
Pretty blonde, sighing earnestly: Ugh. Kind of, but it's always short-lived. I actually have a lot of hookups with guys who have no interest in ever seeing me again after that. It kind of sucks. And actually, this definitely started when I dyed my hair…
Pretty brunette: Oh, uhm, I was kind of joking.
Pretty blonde: Yeah, well… I wasn't.
Pretty brunette, uncomfortably: Oh.

–86th & Amsterdam Ave

Overheard by: a blonde who hasn't noticed this

You Think High School Ends When You Leave High School?

20-something woman #1: She's an adult, and she still doesn't know how to blow dry her own hair!
20-something woman #2: I know! And she looks like shit when she comes into work.
20-something woman #1: It's absolutely disgusting!
20-something woman #2: Everyone is all wearing makeup and she's just not!
20-something woman #1: I know it's not in your job contract to blow dry your hair, but come on!

–1 Train

Wednesday One-Liners for Ralph Nader… Not!

Sorority chick leaving a democratic rally where hillary clinton spoke: God, they all sounded so political!

–Wagner College

5 year-old boy (to his mother): Is it true that obama's going to raise taxes?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Jen

Woman on cell: I'm trying to find joe sixpack. (pause) no, I don't know joe sixpack.

–98th & Broadway

Several middle-aged, wealthy #40 something upper east side ladies at the dinner table next to us at a french restaurant, discussing politics. The last point on sarah palin: "her hair's fine, her glasses are fine, her clothes are ok but I'm sorry, she's a fucking loser."

–Jacques Brasserie — Upper East Side

Overheard by: Lindsey Miller

Drunk girl: "if lil' wayne was president, things would be running much more smoothly."

–E Houston St & Lafayette St,

Overheard by: Teddy

"my cousin said that obama is the antichrist."
(pause).
"that's mad rude, right?"


–M66

Overheard by: Charley