Archive for the ‘Hand-Jobs’ Category

What Passes As Gentlemanly in NYC

Girl #1: That show was so good.
Girl #2: I know — some guy tried to finger me.
Girl #1: What?!
Girl #2: Yeah… He was dancing with his girlfriend and then he turned around and saw me. It was kinda nice… –Terminal 5 Overheard by: Kelly

Wednesday O-o-o-oooo-One-Liners

Skinny Spanish girl: That nigga was saying how he had me moaning and screaming, but I was like, "nigga, I'm just loud–that doesn't mean you're good!" –Ft. Hamilton Parkway, Brooklyn Overheard by: also loud Ghetto chick to friend: Yo…in my country, it's illegal to not please your woman. You gotta fuck her till she begs you to stop. –116th & 1st Overheard by: DonnaRae Man on phone: Yeah…I just fingerblasted her for like an hour. No big deal. –E 4th St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: intern2 Mom to teenage son: And I was like "sure, have sex in my bed, it never sees any." –Mercer & W 3rd Girl on cell: Oh no, he's back fucking his secretary now, so I'm like, completely free! –East Village 20-something on cell, after loud graphic sex tale: And don't you be telling anyone! I don't like strangers knowing my business. –Express Bus to Brooklyn

Wednesday One-Liners Clean Everything Up Before Their Parents Get Back

Black woman in trashy outfit: And he said "But the party just started, bitch, I'll take you in a few hours!" and I was like, "Nigga please! My water just broke!" –Lower East Side Asian bimbo on cell: I just spoke to Percy and allegedly they threw a party after we were fired, to celebrate us getting fired…but we're people too. –181 & St Nicholas Overheard by: must not have liked you Hipster girl: My all-time dream is to be shot by the cobra snake at a party, with a cig in my hand and Paul* between my thighs. –NYU Dorm Overheard by: Dayn Tattooed guy on iPhone: Yeah, I'm bringing a 250-foot Slip 'N Slide! –7th & 13th St Overheard by: can I come to that party? Loud man on cell: Yo, son! Why didn't you invite to your party? Damn…c'mon! Remember that time the chick in a wheelchair was working us in the cab? Yeah, she was in a wheelchair! Remember we got a cab for her and put her in the cab? That's right–that was me! She was giving us both head. –BBQ Restroom, 8th Ave, Chelsea 20-something woman: Wait…when is it a rule to give the host a handjob? –Museum of Natural History Overheard by: Jazz

I'm Starting to Care That the Girl Has an Orgasm

Girl #1: So wait… You have trouble orgasming?
Girl #2: Yes! It's like impossible for me to come through sex alone.
Girl #1: But fingering and oral works?
Girl #2: Well, yeah.
Girl #1 to guy friend: How ya hanging in there, Matt?
Matt: I need to start hanging out with more guys. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Everyone Knows Red Means “Stop”

Girl to friend: I think I just saw the guy I was with last night.
Friend: You gonna go say something to him?
Girl: No way! First he made me give him a handjob for like an hour, then he shot right in my eye. I think it's still red.
Friend: Your eye or his cock?
Girl: Either way, no second date. –Downtown 3 Train Overheard by: hellokitty