Archive for the ‘Hand-Jobs’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Go Down

Suit: I’d leave my wife for her if her clit didn’t taste like a spicy tuna roll. –Chambers & Broadway Girl on cell: I don’t care how many fingers you put in her. Bottom line is, she didn’t blow you. So I win. –Times Square Overheard by: shap Utilitarian guy: A blow job is better than no job. –Sex Work Conference, The New School Overheard by: wendy Girl: $50 for a 2-minute bj? I’d do it. It takes me 8 hours to make $50. Shit. –Queens bound F train Overheard by: Marisa Dude: So, did she orgasm in your mouth? –219 2nd Ave Overheard by: Trey Givens Hipster: I’m thinking of getting that little string thing attached to my tongue cut off so I can eat pussy better. –Chinatown bus Queer #1 to queer #2: Well if I’m not giving you head and you’re not giving me head then we’ve got a problem. –Wachovia, 17th & 7th Overheard by: Joanna

Clean Yet Dirty (NYC Short Stories)

Teen girl #1: She once said to me, “I was thinking about us kissing in the shower.”
Teen girl #2: I hope you were wearing clothes. –Canal & Broadway Guy #1: Does she even shower?
Guy #2: That’s what I asked him. But then he said, “Not only does she shower, but then she licks my ass and jacks me off. It’s fucking great!” –22nd & 3rd Overheard by: Erin B Man #1: You smell great!
Man #2: Thanks. I haven’t bathed since eleven. –70th & Amsterdam

What, Objectifying is for Presidents Only? How 90s!

Suit #1: …so I went to her house and she was still begging and I kept saying “no”, and then she– He makes a handjob gesture. Suit #1: –and then I went home.
Suit #2: Have you seen [Laura], the new chick in the office?
Suit #3: I probably shouldn’t be saying this since I’m Vice President, but she’s got a great figure on her. –S train Overheard by: Michelle

Man, That Hobo Sure Gets Around

Hipster chick #1: …So I was giving this guy a handjob and he wasn’t circumcised…it was so bizarre looking.
Hipster chick #2: I know, isn’t it so weird? I’m all like, “What am I supposed to do with that thing at the top? Touch it, play with it, leave it alone?” –5th & A Girl #1: I just saw a bum peeing on 88th Street.
Girl #2: Was it big?
Girl #1: I didn’t notice. He was a bum. Even if he had John Holmes’ cock, I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole.
Girl #2: Was it big?
Girl #1: Not really. –6 train Overheard by: Matt Montini