Archive for the ‘Happiness’ Category

Wednesday Bites the Big One-Liner

Teen scene girl: And that's a whole fucking different story! You always said you wanted to die having a heart attack in a car!

–57th & 3rd

Overheard by: Duluthian

Guy in line: I haven't had a corn dog since Jim Belushi died.

–Nathan's, Coney Island

Creepy guy on cell: Hey. Did you hear about the Craigslist killer? Yeah, isn't that a great idea?

–Penn Station

20-something irritated man on cell: Dude, stop freaking out! They're probably not going to do the autopsy for another three days.

–8th Ave & 15th St

Conductor: Please, no one cross cars, if the train makes a turn you will fall through, get crushed and die, thank you and have a lovely evening. Oh, and it's lovely to be alive.

–Amtrak Train to Penn Station

Overheard by: Paige

Let a Smile Be Your Wednesday One-Liner

Guy on cell: How can you be happy if you're acting like such a bitch all time?

–Melrose Ave & 154th St

Puerto Rican barista, as A-Team music starts playing: The A-Team! Man, that makes me think of when I was young and still happy!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Chris K.

30-something woman: I'm going to see Transformers. Transformers! Daa naa na naaa! You have to be happy in life, everybody is dying.

–34th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Frank Molla

Girl on cell, vehemently: I'm trying brown eyeliner. I hope this makes you happy!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Ashley

20-something girl: Just put some alcohol in me and I'll be happy.

–St. Mark's Place

Nice Wednesday One-Liners Finish Last

30-something woman on cell: And then he says to me "you have a very nice placenta!"

–85th & 3rd

Overheard by: Whitney Simmons

Shoe shine guy to woman walking by: Nice boots! Nice hat! You sure got a lot of nice things, lady!

–47th & 6th

Overheard by: CreateEvity

NYU girl on cell: Ew! Emma? I can't believe a guy is interested in Emma! I know she's nice, but that's just gross. I really just cannot believe anyone could possibly be attracted to her! She's so ugly!

–Washington Square Park

Enthusiastic Jewish lady in jury room: He's very nice! He's very nice! He's going to be a *happy* archbishop!

–Centre St

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Three-year-old girl: Don't be sassy, mommy, daddy's being nice.

–Front St.

Overheard by: Aviva

Older black man to circle of friends: I'll bend her over a bench and stick it into her! You know–I'm a nice guy.

–Flatbush & Lincoln

Wednesday H1N1-Liners

Sick girl: I probably don't have swine flu…but I was in Brooklyn last night.

–90th St & Lexington

Overheard by: UESider

Woman on cell: What's with this pig virus thing going around? It's killing people in Mexico, Europe, here in Queens… (pause) Do that many people eat bacon?

–55th & Madison

Overheard by: Jesus Jon

High school student, watching overheated and smoking car: What the fuck is this shit?! Dat nigga's muffler got dat swine flu!

–M86 Bus

Overheard by: Ben

Hipster guy on cell: Oh, your enthusiasm is just like the swine flu!

–22nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: BL

Amateur rapper, walking down street: If you got the swine flu, bitch, stay outta my hood! Cause the sun it is shinin' and I'm feelin' so good.

–188th St & Washington Ave

Hipster guy: Abby is a total germophobe. She was like, "what have you eaten lately?" and I was like, "a raw pig from Mexico. Is that bad?"

–76th St & 3rd Ave