Guy: So I'm like, "can I get a lighter?" and she pulls out two, and one is literally a penis with the flame coming out the tip, and the other one is a guy doing one of these moves, and the guy's like a tripod. So I'm like, "can I get one in a normal color?"
African American man describing Indian restaurant to friend: That'll put fire in yo' ass.
Man to stranger: Hey, can I borrow you lighter? I need to go melt something in the bathroom.
Overheard by: Tim
Conductor: Once again, there is nothing on fire! We got it under control. We apologize for the smoke. Next stop is Newark airport. There is nothing on fire.
Overheard by: Where there's smoke