Guy: Of course I’ve drank kerosene. But it wasn’t like I used a cup, though. I used a siphon. –Astoria Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Maxim staff #1: Yeah, we’re going to make you walk around in a plastic bubble or something.
Maxim staff #2: …NO, that is not THE RIGHT KIND of herpes!
Maxim staff #3: Is there a RIGHT kind of herpes? –Midtown elevator
Man: I can’t eat ketchup. It makes my scalp sweat. –West Village
Young woman: You need to get a car so you can take my kitty cat to the vet. –Starbucks, 71st & Broadway Overheard by: Zvi Mowshowitz
Gay boyfriend #1: I'm so disappointed. I really didn't like that as much as mine.
Gay boyfriend #2: You think yours is better?
Gay boyfriend #1: Definitely! Next time I'm bringing my own soap.
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Hispanic nanny: And you know how I have to make poo?
Excited toddler: Yeah!
–1st Ave & E Houston
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
30-something on cell: What can I say, the only thing that I can commit to is Percocet.
–63rd & Amsterdam Ave
Suit: Yeah, I didn't even take any Adderall this morning, and I feel fine!
Girl, casually: I took a few too many Xanax earlier and now I feel like I'm driving my body…
–Cooper Union Foundation Building
Girl on phone: Fine, sniff your lavender, but I still think pills are better.
–52nd & 10th
Overheard by: krysta
Young pretty brunette: I think that I'm anemic, I bruise so easily.
Young ditzy blonde: Oh my god! You, like, starve yourself?
Young pretty brunette: I literally felt myself get dumber after you said that. I don't understand why I associate myself with morons.
–Starbucks, 51st & Broadway
Man: Do you have bathing suits?
Salesgirl: No… But we have swimming trunks.
Man, sarcastically: Why not? I'll try those.
–6th & 23rd
Guy to girl in subway: I was your boyfriend in third grade, don't you remember? You left me for Tyrone because he had the 64-pack of crayons.
–BX 41 Bus
Overheard by: Stacey V
Slutty hipster on cell: Why do you keep saying "Jew" boyfriend?
–Bowery & 4th
Girl to friend: Wait, do you mean my boyfriends in general, or just my Jewish boyfriends?
–David's 24-Hour Bakery
Overheard by: Caroline
Male economics professor: You get your first boyfriend, and your satisfaction is huge. But then, you get three more boyfriends. Have any of you experienced having four boyfriends? Sometimes, they give you a headache.