Young woman: You need to get a car so you can take my kitty cat to the vet. –Starbucks, 71st & Broadway Overheard by: Zvi Mowshowitz
Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party. –BBQ, UWS
Cashier: Here’s your change. Have a good day.
Cashier: There’s no matches left, sorry.
Smoker: No matches? Without matches it’s not worth it. –Rite-Aid, Bensonhurst
Yuppie #1: I really want a drink
Drunk Homeless man (to Yuppie #2): What are you reading?
Yuppie #2: I’m reading a book on sobriety.
Drunk Homeless man (looking over her shoulder): Oh
Yuppie #2: Yes, it’s also about drug additions..valium, etc.
Drunk Homeless man: Really that’s interesting – Union Square Park
Businesswoman: Even though they smoked like chimneys and drank like fish, whatever, the south of France and Italy used to be much healthier than us. –Midtown office
NYU Girl #1: Oh my god! I was so drunk this weekend, and now my legs are covered in bruises. They look terrible, you have no idea. I don’t even know how I got them.
NYU Girl #2: Ha, ha! I love when that happens. I love drunk bruises. –NYU Elevator Overheard by: Stephanie
Old Woman: Oh, I just feel so gassy. I’ve got so much gas. –Public Library, Bensonhurst
Teen Girl #1: …and like it felt like something was crawling…it felt weird.
Teen Girl #2: Didya scratch?
Teen Girl #1: Hell naw! What I’ma look like, scratchin’ my crotch in front of the whole class? –D train
Guy: Of course I’ve drank kerosene. But it wasn’t like I used a cup, though. I used a siphon. –Astoria Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Maxim staff #1: Yeah, we’re going to make you walk around in a plastic bubble or something.
Maxim staff #2: …NO, that is not THE RIGHT KIND of herpes!
Maxim staff #3: Is there a RIGHT kind of herpes? –Midtown elevator