Yuppie #1: “I never put my race down on those forms. Why should I be
classified by race?”
Yuppie #2: “I feel the same way about putting my height down on my driver’s
license.”
Archive for the ‘Height’ Category
Story of My Life
Woman: He’s such a great guy. If he were taller, I’d marry him. I admire him so much, and he’s gorgeous. –Astoria Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Short v. Short of Hearing
Guy #1: Damn, she was short!
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Damn, she was short!
Guy #2: Who?
Guy #1: That lady!
Guy #2: Oh, yeah! She was short!
–E Train
Half-woman Picks Up Half the Bill
Guy #1: It’s a lunch date.
Guy #2: It’s lunch, but it’s not a date. Man, she’s a midget!
–Union Square
…As We Learned the Hard Way During Fraternity Rush Week.
Guy #1: Big girls need love too!
Guy #2: Not from me, my bed is too small to fit a baby whale.
–46th St & 6th
Overheard by: TL
Wednesday Tiny-One-Liners
Girl to boyfriend: Two years ago I saw your penis under a bright blue light. And it was small.
–Penn Station
Black guy to black friend: Her father does not want his daughter marrying someone from another race. What, is he scared that the kid will come out black and have a big nose? I'll tell you one thing–he'll have a big dick.
–Bowery & 1st St
Overheard by: Zach B
Man to girl beside him: Mine isn't that big. But it's big enough for what I need it for.
–6th Ave & 9th St
Girl to friend: He had a big penis. It scared me.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: s0uthard
Young teenage boy to another: You're telling me you have an 8.5 inch dick and you don't touch it?
–M21 Bus
Overheard by: zaarah
Oh, You Wanna Feel?
Female cashier about to ring up sandwich order: What do you have?
20-something guy: Subway club.
Female cashier, not looking at sandwich: What size?
20-something guy: Mine's 12 inches.
Girl behind in line, to friend: Yeah, I bet.
–Subway Restaurant
Overheard by: Nancy
And Given It a Reality Show Called Kirstie Alley's Big Life
Teenage girl: But it's not a squid, it's an octopus.
Father: It's a cephalopod.
Teenage girl: But if it just rose out of the water, all of a sudden, and grabbed hold of the bridge, what would people scream? “Help! It's a giant cephalopod!”?
Father: The more erudite among them would scream that, yes.
Teenage girl: (laughs)
Father: Actually, I think they would just scream, “Aaaarggghhh!”
Teenage girl: Stop it! People are staring!
Father: But I find it hard to believe that something that big could just sneak up on people.
Teenage girl: Yeah. If it existed, they would have found it by now.
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard in Wednesday One-Liner
20-something dude to another: It's so hard to get laid in this city before 11 pm!
–M-15 Bus
Hottie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white person.
–28th & 29th
Overheard by: A black person from Chicago
20-something male to female: So you'd better be prepared. It's like the Times Square of New York.
–16th St & Union Square
Overheard by: Annie B
Middle-aged Hispanic dude to Indian salesperson: This is New York City. Nobody's gonna kill you, okay?
–Rite-Aid
Young gay man: That's what I hate about New York City. It's such a fucking small town.
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: molls
…So, Wanna Fuck?
Boy: Yeah, I'm just really bad at putting big things into little things.
Girl: Oh… Was that supposed to be sexual?
Boy: Nah. If it was sexual I would have ended it with “bowchickabowwow” or something.
–1 Train