Archive for the ‘Hippies’ Category

Doesn't It Go Against the Nature Of an Animal to Keep It Tethered?

Dude to hippie chick walking cat on leash: Yo, that's a funny looking dog you got there.
Hippie chick walking cat: That's 'cause he's a cat.
Dude: Why you walkin' a cat down the street in New York City?
Hippie chick walking cat: Cause back in Colorado, he was indoor-outdoor, and now that we've moved out here for a while I just can't keep him inside. But I can't let him roam free on the streets, so I take him for walks. I love him too much to keep cooped up. It, like, goes against the nature of an animal to keep him inside and not let him experience the world outside and not let him meet other animals and other people.
Dude, amazed: Marry me. –12th St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: Yeah, I like weird chicks too

And It Doesn't Help That the Ones You Have Keep Disappearing on You

Hippie girl, about friend cheating: So now she won't answer anyone's calls. And her boyfriend said she hasn't come home in a week.
Friend, completely serious: Maybe he killed her for cheating on him and is calling everyone, acting worried.
Hippie girl: Are you serious right now?! She is probably staying with the guy she's been cheating with.
Friend, looking ashamed: Sorry, I've been watching way too much SVU.
Hippie girl: You need to make friends when you go back to Boston! –Washington Square

Wednesdays Feel Virtuous When They Don't Eat One-Liners

Weird hobo: Ladies and gentleman, I am a disabled Vietnam vet. I'm asking help from all of you so I don't wind up on the streets. While in Vietnam, I was exposed to Agent Orange, which caused me my disability–I became a vegetarian. –Downtown 3 Train Overheard by: An Amused Former Vegetarian Aging hippie to woman spouting PETA propaganda: I've been a vegan for 30 years. You're embarrassing me. Why do you do that? –F Train Overheard by: AeC Guy: Yo, I'm vegetarian now, I don't eat no meat, but man I love that chicken. That chicken just keeps comin' back to me! –Manna's Overheard by: eatinginharlem Crazy-looking woman on bench: Oh my gosh, I was totally a vegetarian yesterday. Like literally, I ate no meat. –Central Park Overheard by: Meat Eater Clueless 20-something female: Do you have another menu? I'm a vegan. –Brother Jimmy's BBQ, 31st St

Wednesday How-Many-Liners?

Tourist, looking at buildings across from Central Park: So which one is the Statue of Liberty? –Columbus Circle Girl: Are pork chops made of lamb? –23rd & Park Ave Overheard by: Nora Claire Girl to bouncer at bar: Does this place have really awesome bathrooms? –East Village Overheard by: bb Tourist: Is Chinatown closed? –Canal St Overheard by: Kristen Hippie at exhibit for world's most extreme animals: Are they alive? –Museum of Natural History Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy Lady on cell: Times Square's where that ball is, right? –42nd St & 6th St Overheard by: tourists rock Guy: What is this? So I sign up and get a free beer? –Designated Driver Booth, Citi Field Overheard by: AJ

Not Another Teen Wednesday One-Liner

High school girl: She banged some dude with no condom during her period, then she blew another guy after the basketball game. –Panera, Queens Overheard by: NBG1 Teen: My health teacher always yells at me for being late. Shouldn't she be, like, sustaining my self-esteem? –Green Apple Cafe Overheard by: Julie Hippie teenager leaving bathroom: When I see you all later, I will not have any idea who the hell you are! –Nokia Theater, Times Square Overheard by: dan Teenage girl to cute guy, after spitting on door window: I have a bad habit of spittin'. –E Train Overheard by: MrsBall Teenager to crying little brother: Shut up! Stop it or I'll take away your ShamWow! –Times Square Overheard by: JYC Teenage boy on cell: I won't cock-block! (pause) I won't cock-block! –E 77th St & 1st Ave Overheard by: Steve G

Wednesday One-Liners Swear It's Swine Flu

Sick cop to another: The way I see it, you've got seven holes in your head. If you don't wanna get sick, you just gotta keep your fingers out of those seven holes. Then you'll be good. –ER, Saint Vincent Hospital Overheard by: Dustin Old-school pimp on cell: I'm sick. (pause) Naw, baby, I just want you to bring me some money and chicken soup. –96th & Columbus Ave Woman on phone: Yeah, I'm doing really well. I just have some cancerous issues. But other than that, I'm great! –East Village Overheard by: Erin Woman to friend: So I was worried I had a urinary tract infection or something, even though it didn't hurt when I was peeing. But it turns out it was just a pube stuck in my clit. –R Train Overheard by: what the hell? Guy to friend: So, I finally got athlete's foot. –116th & Broadway Chick to guy friend: Well, if you hadn't spent the entire morning cursing out yo momma, then you wouldn't had gotten swine flu! –Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn Overheard by: Amused Freshman Hippie girl on cell: Hey, mom! How are you? (pause) Not so good, actually, my bloodwork just came back and I have Lyme disease! (pause) I know…it's like 70 degrees here! –42nd & Park Ave Overheard by: AwkwardTwig

NYC Rules Require at Least One Person to Drop the F-Bomb

Hot hippie chick: Excuse me, you need a hand?
Old blind man: Nah, I'm just getting to the n train. Thanks so much, though!
Hot hippie chick: Alright, you have a great day!
Blind man: Same to you!
Overlooking suit to friend: Nice New Yorkers…they just blow my mind. –Union Square Subway Station