Archive for the ‘Hipsters’ Category

Like They’re Afraid of a Crime Happening in a Primarily Black Neighborhood or Something

Black teen hipster #1: Why are there so many white people on the 2 train this late at night?
Black teen hipster #2: Please. All these white people are getting off at 96th Street.

Train stops at 96th. The white people leave the train.

Black Teen Hipster #2: Watch ‘em all scamper away!

–2 train

Scott Baio Is 45…and a Wednesday One-Liner

Man to woman: You wouldn't procreate with Boomer Esiason, even though he's the king of Cincinnati?

–Deli, Canal & Hudson

Overheard by: Uncle Bling

Man on cell: Elvis made ten million dollars last year and he's dead. There's no reason I can't make a thousand.

–Park Slope

Hipster: I like Steve Buscemi a lot more than I like you.

–Life Cafe, Bushwick

Overheard by: D

Woman in Southern accent to man: Look, the McGraw-Hill building. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill must own that building!

–W 49th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Michael

Middle aged white man to friend: I finally figured it out. "Mystikal" sounds like a constipated Samuel L. Jackson.

–LIRR

Wednesday One-Liners Lost the Chess Match

Exasperated hipster chick on cell, rolling eyes: Well, you probably should have known. I mean, I told you yesterday it was a terrible idea to go out and get wasted the night before you work with cadavers…

–83rd & 1st

Overheard by: i’ll remember that for next time…

Little boy pointing to top of Trump Tower: If I fell off of that, I would die!

–Trump Tower

Overheard by: Horrified

Suit to another: … So at, like, four a.m. this morning I rolled over to feel her, and she was, like, dead.

–44th & 8th

Overheard by: Glad I’m not sleeping with him

Old lady on cell: Well, I may be dead by then, so it might be a waste of your money.

–Fairway, 73rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Jessie

Man on cell: … Yeah, but wouldn’t my witness getting killed be bad?

–Key Food, Kew Gardens Hills, Queens

Overheard by: kilbasi

Third grader: Miss Hannah, let’s make a deal — if you give me an ax, I’ll give you 10 corpses.

–PS 41

Overheard by: Student Teacher