Archive for the ‘Hipsters’ Category

Can You Hear Wednesday One-Liners Now?

Judge to room packed with prospective jurors: I am going to give you a number to call in case of an emergency. You should copy this down. The number is 917-480… (pause) Oh shit! (mic becomes muffled). Um, sorry. That was my cell phone number. –Supreme Court Building Woman on cell: Our codependent lewdity shall rage on, Verizon! Take that! –113th & Broadway Overheard by: McF Hipsterette to another: Well, you shouldn't have to sleep with someone to find out if he's going to call you back. –Coffee Shop, Park Slope Overheard by: TheGreenCat Conductor: There is a C train just across the platform. For those of you who have a sudden urge for a change of plans and wish to abandon your plans to go to Park Slope tonight, you can hop off here and take the C to East New York. I hope you have a phone to call your family, you won't be home for dinner! –F Train Overheard by: Staying on the F Girl in bathroom stall on cell: Okay, my phone is dying, I will call you later. (pause) Call you from a payphone? I don't know how to use one of those. –School, Lower Manhattan Well-dressed woman walking tiny dog, yelling into cell: You know what, John? You can e-mail, don't even call me. I don't want you on my phone. (pause) Hello? –Columbus Circle

The Wednesday Bone's Connected to the One-Liner Bone…

Man with beard to friend: You should stick with her. I mean, she's giving you her kidney! –77th & Columbus Teen hipster, commenting on girl's nose: It's not too nosy, but you know it's a nose. –Starbucks, 71st & Broadway Overheard by: Maddie Girl: She just really needs that second body, you know? –W 16th St & 6th Ave Overheard by: Emily B. Guy yelling to friend: So I said "My rectum? My rectum!?" –Broadway & John St Guy on phone: No, bitch, you rub my belly! –Houston St Conductor over intercom, after train stops: Folks, I apologize for the delay, the conductor had to make a pit stop…when you get old, your kidneys start to fail. –Metro North Train Overheard by: Kristin

Wednesday One-Liners You Can Take Home to Mom

20-something gal: I didn’t really like him, I just wanted a boyfriend. –Fulton & Gold Overheard by: Craig, Marykate and Maryanne 20-something girl on cell: What, my boyfriend? Oh, he’s with his wife tonight. –Remsen & Clinton, Brooklyn Flamboyantly gay man (to himself): He’s just jealous because I have a new boyfriend! –Times Square Overheard by: Liz French woman, earnestly: I’m okay with him sleeping with my boyfriend as long as he starts paying for his own drinks. –1020 Bar, 110th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Ladle Hipster bike punk: I call her my special lady friend and she calls me her gentlemen caller… because boyfriend and girlfriend are too possessive. –Mud Bar, East Village Overheard by: raf

Wednesday One-Liners Like to Watch

Girl on phone: This is so crazy because I was just watching Gossip Girl and I was like: "Oh my god, no one has dinner at Butter!" But then you just called me and invited me to dinner at Butter! It’s totally out of control. –Barnard College Man: The Tudors is like Law & Order for British actors. If you can’t get a job anywhere else, there’s always that. –Cort Theater Overheard by: office peon Young man to friend: It’s called Tudor Place. Hey, you know that show on showtime, The Tudors? Maybe it’s that family and they moved over here. Because the buildings do look old. –Bryant Park Hipster: I watched Lost one time. I watched Lost one time! A big monsoon was coming and some dude closed a door on it. Closed a door on the monsoon! I was like: "Fuck this, I’m done." –Outside an Irish Pub, 54th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: jon Soccer mom: Charles in Charge was a consistently good show. –51st St & 8th Ave