Archive for the ‘Hipsters’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Rob the Cradle

Teen: I'm 14 years old and I'm still a virgin…how sick is that??

–Simon Baruch Middle School

Overheard by: the art major

Random old guy: The only thing I like more than children is more children.

–Barnes & Noble, 83rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Maianess

20-something guy to friend, casually: Oh, yeah, and the high school girl doesn't want a relationship.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: rachelandkaceyfuckup

Hipster girl to a group of friends: I can't date him. It would be like dating a kid, and not like in a really good way. (awkward silence) Uhm, not that there is a really good way to date a kid.

–Grand Central Station

Guy: You can do that to a girl but you can't do that to a guy! That's child molestation!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: inching away

Professor: Did I ever tell you? I used to work at a carnival operating the kiddie rides. (laughs) And no! I never became a pedophile!

–Wagner College

Overheard by: good to know

HIs Whole Body’s a Treasure-Trail!

Hipster girl #1: I usually don’t mind, but this guy was like… I mean, basically you couldn’t tell if his shirt was on or off, he was that hairy!
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, I used to date a guy like that. You know those hair removal ads for men with the before and after pictures, where they basically take like the hairiest man that ever walked the earth? That was him. Chest, back, shoulders, ass… Covered.
Bear guy: Aw, come on. That’s just plain hot!

–Pink Pony, LES

Wednesday One-Liners Ask: Why Limit Yourself?

Girl looking at unisex bathroom sign: The bathrooms are bisexual!

–The Brooklyn Lyceum

Overheard by: Jordana

Hipster dude on cell: He broke up with me for a girl!

–St. Marks & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Amy

Woman on cell: Yes, baby, yes, I’m bisexual! I need a man right now. You ready or what?

–6th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: TK

Guy on cell: Damn, baby, it’s been months since we’ve had sex! Is it another guy? …Is it another girl?!

–Prince St

Overheard by: Suzy

Fourth-grade kid: See, what you people don’t understand is, my fists are bisexual — they hit both boys and girls.

–PS 34

Overheard by: Emily

There's No Wednesday One-Liners Like Show Wednesday One-Liners

Festering pedestrian: Well, he didn't mention my name at the Tonys, and for that I'll never forgive him.

–43rd St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Ryan

Producer of an unsuccessful off-Broadway play: That's what this show makes me do. Everyday I get here and just squeeze my neck just like this, I just squeeze it. I don't do this anywhere else.


–Chelsea Theater


Overheard by: Kyle

Audience member to friend: Of course it sucks. It's Shakespeare.

Macbeth Performance, Battery Park

Hipster guy: I think this play is by the same guy who wrote Ten Things I Hate about You

–NYCL Production of Shakespeare's Cymbeline, Central Park

Overheard by: digamma

Hipster girl: Last time I was in the third row, but I think I like these better. At least I won't get my head humped tonight.

Hair Performance, Delacorte Theatre

Teenybopper at intermission: Joe Jonas would make such an incredible bodega guy!

–Richard Rodgers Theatre