Archive for the ‘Hitler/Nazis’ Category

Reform Wednesday One-Liners

Black guy on cell: Broadway is all gays and Jews and frankly I am sick of it.

–47th St & 8th

Jewish son: I did not call the rabbi to have him check up on you!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: NosyMormon

Suit on cell: Oh yes, I know all about you. You do crazy things. You eat rice on Pesach.

–Fancy Restaraunt, 79th St

Hobo: I bet if I put up a sign that said "hungry Jew," I'd be getting a ton of money thrown at me.

–98th St & Broadway

Old Jewish woman, exiting store with young woman: I know it's silly, but it was German. They killed six million Jews in Germany. I don't like to buy things that were made in Germany.

–Queens

20-something girl to friend: That Jew laid the spank on her!

–30th Ave, Astoria

The Final Solution to Wednesday One-Liners

College girl to friend: So I was looking through all my pictures… You know, all my pictures of Nazis.

–Central Park

Overheard by: ruegah

NYU film student to another, looking at picture of French actor Benoit Magimel: He's hot in that Hitler Youth kind of way.

–NYU Tisch Building

Guy to friend: Killing zombies is the new killing Nazis.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Preston

Random hipster: Sometimes I think Hitler was right.

–Music Hall of Williamsburg

Borders employee: I'm sorry, ma'am, we do have books about Hitler, but they're all for children.

–Borders

Nice Wednesday One-Liners Finish Last

Man on cell: I need attractive girls with low self-esteem so I can tell them that I understand and then do horrible things to them. This is basic science.

–40th & 8th

Overheard by: 13Atlantic

Irate Wall Street guy standing in deli: Everything! Everything! I said "everything bagel," you fucking waste of life. (to other customers in line) He always does that!

–Beaver & William

Boy, watching Hannah Montana on screen: unless she's hanging from a rope, I can't be bothered.

–AMC 7, East Village

Overheard by: agreed

Female in red coat: It's, like, the Holocaust–get over it! I didn't even care about it when it first happened.

–Bobst Lobby, NYU

Overheard by: wow.

I'm Pretty Sure It Was the Mustache

20-something Midwestern actress type transplant #1: Yeah, I was told by one of my drama teachers once, way back in school, that I had the “passion and commitment to theater” that Hitler had.
(five-second pause)
20-something Midwestern actress type transplant #2
: Wow!

20-something Midwestern actress type transplant #1: No, it wasn't a compliment, she didn't like me very much.

–Chinese Restaurant, Astoria

In What Context Have Armbands Ever Been Bad?

Organizer #1: What about different food options for the luncheon, (thoughtful pause) what about kosher food?
Organizer #2: Good idea, but how will we be able to tell who wants to eat kosher?
University staff: We could just make black armbands with the Star of David on them. (collective gasps in the room) What?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: fdh