Hobo: Hold the train! I’m just going to go get some sugar for my coffee! –C train Overheard by: Jenn B
Bag man: Nice toes.
Bag man: Well, you know, so many people be wearin’ these things and they got some nasty boar feet, but you got some nice toes there. Good for you. –Barney’s Warehouse Sale, W. 17th Street Overheard by: A. Hender
Passer-by to hobo: Nice chair!
Hobo: Why, thank you, I'm a professional bum. –5th Ave & 22nd St
Man going into deli: Don't you have a sweater?
Hobo: Yeah, I got one.
Man: Well, put it on–you will catch cold.
Hobo: I'll put it on later.
Man: Put it on now, you cannot afford to catch cold in your line of business. –181st & Fort Washington
Hobo: I need some money to buy food. Please help a brother out with any change you have.
Little girl: Hey mister, you were just in here.
Hobo: No, I wasn’t. All homeless people don’t look the same, you know!
Little girl: But you all dress the same. –E train Overheard by: Nina
Dirty old hobo to passing tourist girl: Mmm, mmm, mmm… I could eat for three days off your fat pussy.
Tourist girl: I'm not fat!
Dirty old hobo: No, but your pussy sure is.
Tourist girl, rushing away: I'm gonna cry. –Soho
Crazy, loud hobo on train, repeating: “Jesus” is a six letter word! “666” means the devil! So, Jesus is the devil!
Fed-up passenger: Hey asshole, “Jesus” is 5 letters, not six!
Crazy hobo, pensive: Well, shit, there goes my whole argument. –5 Train
Hobo singing: Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten. From the Battery to the top of Manhattan. [To transit worker] ‘Scuse me, sir. Where we at right now? Brooklyn? Queens? Manhattan?
Transit worker #1: We’re anywhere you wanna be, brother.
Hobo: What borough is this?
Transit worker #2: This is the Bronx.
Hobo: The Bronx?
Transit worker #1: The boogie down.
Hobo: The boogie woogie? [Walks away singing] Boogie woogie oogie ’til ya just can’t boogie no more…
Transit worker #2 to #1: If you just hopped into that train and drove it on time we wouldn’t have to watch him wander around the platform. –1 train platform, 242nd St Overheard by: Reggie Vikram
Cop: Move it along, bub.
Hobo: What? I don’t wanna move, I’m sleeping here.
Cop: I said move it, buddy.
Hobo: Why? I’m not bothering anyone, can I please stay, please, please?
Cop: OK, fine. Stay.
Hobo: I love you. –Bay Ridge Overheard by: C. Depp
Two hobos are checking out a woman walking by.
Hobo #1: You look like an angel fallen from heaven!
Hobo #2: The angel fallen from heaven is the devil!
Hobo #1: Oh… –Lafayette & Franklin