New York’s Friendliest Hobo: Your hair looks nice. MISS! YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD! –Midtown Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Hobo: It’s not like I even mean to keep talking. I don’t wanna keep talking. They fucked up when they started making Taco Bell Doritos. They take away the molasses! Why? Because they know I like it. I smoked crack with the FBI. Hasta la vista, nigger. Next time I see you, I’m gonna blow crack smoke into your head, you fucking bitch. –W Train
Touchingly Humorous Bum: Yo, what are you doing in my house? You assholes! You don’t knock, you don’t wipe your feet. You’re so rude. I’m just kidding. I’m not even homeless. I don’t want to go home to my wife. She’s 380 pounds. I gotta work full time and beg in my time off just to feed the bitch. –A Train Overheard by: Tibbie X
Guy: OK, everyone who’s wearing the same clothes today as they did last night, raise their hands! –5th Ave.
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man? –Odessa, Ave. A
Hobo: Sorry to interrupt, but I’m starving. Please help me to get some candy and a soda.
Chick: How about a perfectly good pear? You know, if you’re so hungry. The hobo walks away angry and disgusted; 20 feet later he turns around to give her a dirty look. Chick: Obviously you’re not that hungry–and it’s called pop! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: James Lin
Homeless preacher: Any man can be President, but only one man can be in the White House: the White Man. –53rd & 5th Ave Hobo: My pope, he’s a terrible pope. –52nd & Broadway
Billy: Can anyone help Billy out so Billy can get dinner? Anyone? No? Thanks a lot! –Taco Bell, Union Square
Hobo: Fuck God! I am God, and God is dead. –Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Where: Bedford Ave., Yuppietown Hobo: …and the rest of you will be buried in cement!