Man digging through trash can: Hey, this shirt isn’t bad. I could use it for my bird. –Spring St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Archive for the ‘Hobos’ Category
Fun with the Homeless
New York’s Friendliest Hobo: Your hair looks nice. MISS! YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD! –Midtown Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Those Wacky Homeless
Hobo: It’s not like I even mean to keep talking. I don’t wanna keep talking. They fucked up when they started making Taco Bell Doritos. They take away the molasses! Why? Because they know I like it. I smoked crack with the FBI. Hasta la vista, nigger. Next time I see you, I’m gonna blow crack smoke into your head, you fucking bitch. –W Train
Hobo Fun
Touchingly Humorous Bum: Yo, what are you doing in my house? You assholes! You don’t knock, you don’t wipe your feet. You’re so rude. I’m just kidding. I’m not even homeless. I don’t want to go home to my wife. She’s 380 pounds. I gotta work full time and beg in my time off just to feed the bitch. –A Train Overheard by: Tibbie X
Name That Whore
Guy: OK, everyone who’s wearing the same clothes today as they did last night, raise their hands! –5th Ave.
Diner Fun
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man? –Odessa, Ave. A
Let’s Pluck Him and Stuff Our Coats
Businesswoman: It’s mighty ducky today.
Hobo: Quack!
–Wall Street
Homeless Monologues
Hobo: Fuck God! I am God, and God is dead. –Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Homeless Monologues II
Where: Bedford Ave., Yuppietown Hobo: …and the rest of you will be buried in cement!
Homeless Monologues III
Where: 42nd at 5th Ave. Hobo (to himself): Oh, so is that it? Every time you want to make me feel small, you throw Tiger Woods in my face?