Well-dressed British man on cell, as he walks oddly: Listen girl, I farted so hard yesterday I blasted half my ass off. (pause) No, seriously! I am still walking funny! –24th St b/w 6th & 7th Overheard by: Joseph Teenage boy to another: One time this hot bitch farted on my lap, and I didn't know what to do. –12th St & University Place Crazy hobo sitting on blanket: I used to wear underwear, but then I farted and left a stain, so decided no more. Can anyone spare any change? –87th & Broadway Overheard by: Nynanny Girl from Louisiana: What can I say? I'm a Southern girl. I fart crawfish. –McLean Ave, Yonkers Woman on phone: Well, the romance is out of my life: this morning Greg came in my mouth, then straight away leaned back and farted. –Beard St & Van Brunt St, Brooklyn Overheard by: craig hunter
Toddler being pushed through park: Music!
Hobo, playing guitar: Give me cookies! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Anna P.
A group of little kids are selling M&Ms on the train, perhaps to raise money for their school’s basketballing team. Homeless black dude with silver teeth enters and proceeds to yell at them. Hobo: I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! –L Train Overheard by: Vickers Bastard Gringo
Hobo: ‘Scuse me. You wanna give a quarter to the United Negro Pizza Fund? –44th & 8th Hobo: Listen, girls, do you care to donate to the United Negro Pastrami Sandwich Fund? –Bowery between 3rd & 4th Hobo: Would you like to donate to the United Negro Pizza Fund? –82nd & Amsterdam Overheard by: Leigh Hobo: Can you offer a contribution to the United Negro I Didn’t Go to College Fund? –60th & Columbus
Chick: Are you hungry? I have some leftover vietnamese food you can have.
Hobo: Well, what is it? I’m religious. I don’t eat pork.
Chick: There’s no pork. It’s just vegetarian noodles.
Hobo: Noodles? Nah, I’m trying to cut back on carbs. –Grand Central food court
Guy, to girl: Smart girls are never pretty. That’s why you’re a dumbass. –Union Turnpike station platform Overheard by: Erna Hobo: Ain’t no good here, only cheap. Cheap, cheap, and very cheap. And very beautiful. –L train, Bedford Ave station
Consoling friend: Just think about what you want out of it.
Crying girl: I really don’t know what I should do!
Eavesdropping hobo: Damn, bitch — do what the fuck you want! –Washington Square Park
Hobo, yelling on the train: Oh, god, I know I've made a lot of mistakes. This is all my fault, but if you could just give me something to eat for lunch, or a nickel, anything!
(girl offers him an orange from her bag)
Hobo: No, that ain't food. Thanks anyway. –Downtown R Train Overheard by: Kinda have to agree
Shirtless hobo #1: I lived in California before New York… the weather sucks most of the time there.
Shirtless hobo #2: Yeah, dude, I've heard that. –Washington Square Park
Hobo: Yo, can I get a cigarette? [Girl hands him one.] Can I get a light? Don’t worry, I’m not going to mug you — it’s too cold for that shit. –90th & 1st