Archive for the ‘Hobos’ Category

Blow It Out Your Wednesday One-Liner

Well-dressed British man on cell, as he walks oddly: Listen girl, I farted so hard yesterday I blasted half my ass off. (pause) No, seriously! I am still walking funny! –24th St b/w 6th & 7th Overheard by: Joseph Teenage boy to another: One time this hot bitch farted on my lap, and I didn't know what to do. –12th St & University Place Crazy hobo sitting on blanket: I used to wear underwear, but then I farted and left a stain, so decided no more. Can anyone spare any change? –87th & Broadway Overheard by: Nynanny Girl from Louisiana: What can I say? I'm a Southern girl. I fart crawfish. –McLean Ave, Yonkers Woman on phone: Well, the romance is out of my life: this morning Greg came in my mouth, then straight away leaned back and farted. –Beard St & Van Brunt St, Brooklyn Overheard by: craig hunter

A Home is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Hobo: ‘Scuse me. You wanna give a quarter to the United Negro Pizza Fund? –44th & 8th Hobo: Listen, girls, do you care to donate to the United Negro Pastrami Sandwich Fund? –Bowery between 3rd & 4th Hobo: Would you like to donate to the United Negro Pizza Fund? –82nd & Amsterdam Overheard by: Leigh Hobo: Can you offer a contribution to the United Negro I Didn’t Go to College Fund? –60th & Columbus