Man digging through trash can: Hey, this shirt isn’t bad. I could use it for my bird. –Spring St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley
New York’s Friendliest Hobo: Your hair looks nice. MISS! YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD! –Midtown Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Hobo: It’s not like I even mean to keep talking. I don’t wanna keep talking. They fucked up when they started making Taco Bell Doritos. They take away the molasses! Why? Because they know I like it. I smoked crack with the FBI. Hasta la vista, nigger. Next time I see you, I’m gonna blow crack smoke into your head, you fucking bitch. –W Train
Touchingly Humorous Bum: Yo, what are you doing in my house? You assholes! You don’t knock, you don’t wipe your feet. You’re so rude. I’m just kidding. I’m not even homeless. I don’t want to go home to my wife. She’s 380 pounds. I gotta work full time and beg in my time off just to feed the bitch. –A Train Overheard by: Tibbie X
Guy: OK, everyone who’s wearing the same clothes today as they did last night, raise their hands! –5th Ave.
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man? –Odessa, Ave. A
Hobo: Fuck God! I am God, and God is dead. –Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Where: Bedford Ave., Yuppietown Hobo: …and the rest of you will be buried in cement!
A hobo stumbles into the store, yelling things and making everyone uncomfortable. Suddenly, he stumbles upon the rack with copies of the New York Times, an image of Iraq on the front page. He stares in silence for a moment, and says: You think it’s bad being homeless? Imagine being in Fallujah! –Starbucks, 59 St. & 9th Ave. Overheard by: Andrea Two hobos are drinking malt liquor from paper bags. Hobo #1 shakes his head in dismay: …I tell you, I tell you–that’s why they’ll [sic] never be peace in the Middle East. –29th St. & 2nd Ave. Overheard by: Tricia Karsay
Where: 42nd at 5th Ave. Hobo (to himself): Oh, so is that it? Every time you want to make me feel small, you throw Tiger Woods in my face?