A hobo stumbles into the store, yelling things and making everyone uncomfortable. Suddenly, he stumbles upon the rack with copies of the New York Times, an image of Iraq on the front page. He stares in silence for a moment, and says: You think it’s bad being homeless? Imagine being in Fallujah! –Starbucks, 59 St. & 9th Ave. Overheard by: Andrea Two hobos are drinking malt liquor from paper bags. Hobo #1 shakes his head in dismay: …I tell you, I tell you–that’s why they’ll [sic] never be peace in the Middle East. –29th St. & 2nd Ave. Overheard by: Tricia Karsay
Archive for the ‘Hobos’ Category
Queer Eye for the Homeless Guy
A sharply dressed woman offers a pair of gloves to a hobo: Sir, could you use these?
Hobo: Lady, you should know better. Those don’t match my outfit.
–23rd & 7th
Most New York Conversation Ever
Dude #1: I want a new printer but they’re too expensive.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know what you mean. I want to find a good cheap one.
Homeless busybody: Cheap?! That’s why you’re a fucking Jew!
Dude #2: Actually I’m not Jewish, but I’m glad you’re homeless!
–W. 4th St.
‘Tis the Season for Giving…
Hobo: Got a quarter?
Guy: Yes. Do you?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ron Marler
A NY Story with a Midwest Conclusion
Hobo: Sorry to interrupt, but I’m starving. Please help me to get some candy and a soda.
Chick: How about a perfectly good pear? You know, if you’re so hungry.
The hobo walks away angry and disgusted; 20 feet later he turns around to give her a dirty look.
Chick: Obviously you’re not that hungry–and it’s called pop!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: James Lin
NYC: Home of Free Political Commentary
Homeless preacher: Any man can be President, but only one man can be in the White House: the White Man. –53rd & 5th Ave Hobo: My pope, he’s a terrible pope. –52nd & Broadway
I Eat in the 3rd Person
Billy: Can anyone help Billy out so Billy can get dinner? Anyone? No? Thanks a lot! –Taco Bell, Union Square
Another Dot-com Victim
Into an unplugged phone, a hobo yells: Honey, honey, I told you not to call me in the office! –LES
Race + Power = Racism, Kevin Claims
Hobo: Excuse me peoples, but can I get a dime or quarter?
College Student: Sorry, I can’t help you sir.
Hobo: Thanks a lot, whitey!
–161st Street, The Bronx
Overheard by: Peter Whalen
A Homeless Miss Manners
Vagrant: Can you help a homeless man get something to eat? Huh? Ma’am? Did you say no? I can’t hear you!
Chinese Lady: No.
Vagrant: She said no! People, let me hear you!
–6 Train