A hobo stumbles into the store, yelling things and making everyone uncomfortable. Suddenly, he stumbles upon the rack with copies of the New York Times, an image of Iraq on the front page. He stares in silence for a moment, and says: You think it’s bad being homeless? Imagine being in Fallujah! –Starbucks, 59 St. & 9th Ave. Overheard by: Andrea Two hobos are drinking malt liquor from paper bags. Hobo #1 shakes his head in dismay: …I tell you, I tell you–that’s why they’ll [sic] never be peace in the Middle East. –29th St. & 2nd Ave. Overheard by: Tricia Karsay
A homeless man steals money from a yuppie/African immigrant, who promptly grabs the homeless guy and wrestles him to the floor.
Hobo: I ain’t bothering you! I ain’t bothering you!
Passenger #1: I’m betting on the black guy!
Passenger #2: They’re both black!
Passenger #1: I’m betting on the blacker guy! The immigrant throws the homeless man out of the car at the next stop. Passenger #3: Man, he’s tough! Back in his country, they don’t have McDonald’s to go to for dinner! They hunt rhinos over there! –6 Train Overheard by: Todd Seavey
A sharply dressed woman offers a pair of gloves to a hobo: Sir, could you use these?
Hobo: Lady, you should know better. Those don’t match my outfit. –23rd & 7th
Dude #1: I want a new printer but they’re too expensive.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know what you mean. I want to find a good cheap one.
Homeless busybody: Cheap?! That’s why you’re a fucking Jew!
Dude #2: Actually I’m not Jewish, but I’m glad you’re homeless! –W. 4th St.
Hobo: Got a quarter?
Guy: Yes. Do you? –Penn Station Overheard by: Ron Marler
A group of little kids are selling M&Ms on the train, perhaps to raise money for their school’s basketballing team. Homeless black dude with silver teeth enters and proceeds to yell at them. Hobo: I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! –L Train Overheard by: Vickers Bastard Gringo
Two hobos are having a quarrel. Bum: No, no, man, we can’t fuck each other; we gotta find two women to fuck! –Herald Square Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Man digging through trash can: Hey, this shirt isn’t bad. I could use it for my bird. –Spring St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Hobo #1: Who open the doors and let you out?
Hobo #2: I escaped, muthafucker! –West 4th Street Overheard by: Joshua Mueller
Lady hobo: Hey, y’all, I’m homeless and I’m three months pregnant, and I’m looking for some help from the people of this train, so if anybody got some money they want to give, please help me take care of my baby.
College girl with change: I’ll give you this money if you’re saving up for an abortion.
Lady hobo: What? Nooo, I’m keeepin’ my baby.
College girl, putting change away: Okay, then.
Lady hobo: Wait, what?