Archive for the ‘Hobos’ Category

NY’s Homeless Speak on the Issues

A hobo stumbles into the store, yelling things and making everyone uncomfortable. Suddenly, he stumbles upon the rack with copies of the New York Times, an image of Iraq on the front page. He stares in silence for a moment, and says: You think it’s bad being homeless? Imagine being in Fallujah! –Starbucks, 59 St. & 9th Ave. Overheard by: Andrea Two hobos are drinking malt liquor from paper bags. Hobo #1 shakes his head in dismay: …I tell you, I tell you–that’s why they’ll [sic] never be peace in the Middle East. –29th St. & 2nd Ave. Overheard by: Tricia Karsay

Betting on Blacker

A homeless man steals money from a yuppie/African immigrant, who promptly grabs the homeless guy and wrestles him to the floor. Hobo: I ain’t bothering you! I ain’t bothering you!
Passenger #1: I’m betting on the black guy!
Passenger #2: They’re both black!
Passenger #1: I’m betting on the blacker guy! The immigrant throws the homeless man out of the car at the next stop. Passenger #3: Man, he’s tough! Back in his country, they don’t have McDonald’s to go to for dinner! They hunt rhinos over there! –6 Train Overheard by: Todd Seavey

I’ll Wait and Give It to the Kid

Lady hobo: Hey, y’all, I’m homeless and I’m three months pregnant, and I’m looking for some help from the people of this train, so if anybody got some money they want to give, please help me take care of my baby.
College girl with change: I’ll give you this money if you’re saving up for an abortion.
Lady hobo: What? Nooo, I’m keeepin’ my baby.
College girl, putting change away: Okay, then.
Lady hobo: Wait, what?

–F train