Hobo: I never should have left Kansas City. –85th between 2nd & 3rd
A hobo stumbles into the store, yelling things and making everyone uncomfortable. Suddenly, he stumbles upon the rack with copies of the New York Times, an image of Iraq on the front page. He stares in silence for a moment, and says: You think it’s bad being homeless? Imagine being in Fallujah! –Starbucks, 59 St. & 9th Ave. Overheard by: Andrea Two hobos are drinking malt liquor from paper bags. Hobo #1 shakes his head in dismay: …I tell you, I tell you–that’s why they’ll [sic] never be peace in the Middle East. –29th St. & 2nd Ave. Overheard by: Tricia Karsay
A homeless man steals money from a yuppie/African immigrant, who promptly grabs the homeless guy and wrestles him to the floor.
Hobo: I ain’t bothering you! I ain’t bothering you!
Passenger #1: I’m betting on the black guy!
Passenger #2: They’re both black!
Passenger #1: I’m betting on the blacker guy! The immigrant throws the homeless man out of the car at the next stop. Passenger #3: Man, he’s tough! Back in his country, they don’t have McDonald’s to go to for dinner! They hunt rhinos over there! –6 Train Overheard by: Todd Seavey
A sharply dressed woman offers a pair of gloves to a hobo: Sir, could you use these?
Hobo: Lady, you should know better. Those don’t match my outfit. –23rd & 7th
Dude #1: I want a new printer but they’re too expensive.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know what you mean. I want to find a good cheap one.
Homeless busybody: Cheap?! That’s why you’re a fucking Jew!
Dude #2: Actually I’m not Jewish, but I’m glad you’re homeless! –W. 4th St.
Hobo #1: Who open the doors and let you out?
Hobo #2: I escaped, muthafucker! –West 4th Street Overheard by: Joshua Mueller
Lady hobo: Hey, y’all, I’m homeless and I’m three months pregnant, and I’m looking for some help from the people of this train, so if anybody got some money they want to give, please help me take care of my baby.
College girl with change: I’ll give you this money if you’re saving up for an abortion.
Lady hobo: What? Nooo, I’m keeepin’ my baby.
College girl, putting change away: Okay, then.
Lady hobo: Wait, what?
Hobo walking around making gun with hands: Spiderman, Spiderman, Spiderman…
Bag lady, to no one in particular: He thinks he's s Spiderman, but he's really not.
Hobo to hand: She's right, ya know. Spiderman.
Tall, loud girl to friend: I don't know, I think he really just wants to settle down, you know?
Hobo sitting nearby: Hey! I wanna settle down!
–Broadway & 78th St
Overheard by: Mary
Smoking hobo: Hey man, can I get a cigarette?
Smoking man: You're already smoking one.
Smoking hobo: Gotta plan for the future!
Smoking man: Now you wanna plan?
–12th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jay