Girl on cell: Mom, of course I’m not going to be there on Monday. It’s Columbus Day. Co-lum-bus. It’s a holiday. –Broadway & 13th Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category
About Last Night
Traffic warden: You can park anywhere. I see people putting money in meters and they don’t have to. It’s free today. Tomorrow, New Year’s Day, too.
Guy: Then why are you working today?
Traffic warden: Don’t know. They pay me to.
–UWS
It’s a Very Overheard Christmas
Six drunks are standing around on the corner.
Woman: Now in German!
Drunks: Stille nacht, heilige nacht…
–St. Mark’s & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jamie Wisneski & Megan
Happy Holidays–NYC Style
White Muslim Woman: The women who were sitting here were laughing at me because of how I look. I’m a social worker. Some of my clients are OMRDD so I read lips real well. Because I’m Muslim they didn’t like my outfit. They think we don’t care about how we dress. I was actually Krishna before I was Muslim. The Christmas holidays, the spirit is supposed to be giving. My daughter’s Christian still. That’s why I’m laughing. In my house we used to have Kwanzaa, everything. I knew my husband for three years. I taught him English. I was his teacher! I just converted. Reversion, they call it. Then two weeks later we got married. English I taught him and he was teaching me Arabic. We met in a store ’cause they have restrictions about coming up to a woman’s apartment…They don’t think you understand English, but I speak Spanish and Italian. One time this lady said she thought I was disgusting. I told her “You’re disgusting!” in Spanish. I was peeing my pants. I was hysterical. –D Train
Santa Claus is Coming!
Cameraman: They actually have a huge problem every year at Rockefeller Center with all the people standing around at the ice rink and the tree. Guys will jerk off and rub up against people. –9th Ave. and 55th Overheard by: Meredith
“…but mostly, I’m grateful for emphysema.”
Guy #1: Hard to believe it’s Thanksgiving already.
Guy #2: Next week.
Guy #1: How much do cigarettes cost in Florida?
–Ranch 1, Times Square
The Chorus to a Terrible Song
Woman #1: Are you going to be here for Christmas?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For Thanksgiving?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For–
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For–
Woman #2: Yah.
–Duane Reade, Greenwich Village
But First I’ll Stuff Him with Chocolate!
Girl #1: Mom wants you to dress Jose up for Halloween.
Girl #2: He’s only 1 1/2 years old. What would I do that for?
Girl #1: Dress him up as an M&M.
Girl #2: Oh, right.
–L Train
Overheard by: Christopher
He Tricked Me!
Cute girl #1: So you know how my New Year's resolution was to… keep my legs closed a little better?
Cute girl #2: Yes. I did know that. Good one.
Cute girl #1: Well, I had my first slip-up in upholding it.
Cute girl #2: But it's January 2!
–Bleecker & Bowery
Overheard by: Unimpressed, but amused
I'd Ask a Man, but They Never Come in Here
Woman #1, pushing stroller: Where are all the Halloween decorations?
Woman #2: Halloween? It's like… October 5th. Isn't it a little early for Halloween?
–Christmas Decorations Aisle, Michael's Crafts, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Fiammetta
