Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category

If You're Wednesday and You Know It, Clap Your One-Liners

Young black lady to friend: I am so happy this is my last week! I hate New York City! Everybody is so rude! Today I nearly punched somebody in the face!

–Elevator, Midtown

Overheard by: thorn

Metro guy, singing: If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it. If you're happy and you know it, get a Metro.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: erkala

Six-year-old boy to mom: The things in cave paintings don't always look happy.

–81st & 1st

Overheard by: Tim

Obvious lawyer, on Yom Kippur: My finger is happy to have the day off.

–32nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: k

Your Editors Need to Go Lie Down

Undergrad student #1: The day after Valentine's Day is a holiday, right?
Undergrad student #2: Yeah, it's like Veterans Day or something.
Undergrad student #3: I think it's Martin Luther King's Day.
Undergrad student #1: I thought that was last month.
Undergrad student #3: No, February is Black History Month.

–St. John's University, Queens Campus