Archive for the ‘Homeless’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Get a Hoboner

Hobo: I am homeless and ashy. Can anyone spare some lotion? I want to go from ashy to classy. –A Train Overheard by: SBroto Hobo: If looks could kill I'd be dead. Kind words don't hurt nobody. I give sandwiches. –Shuttle to Grand Central Overheard by: alan b hutscar Panhandler, holding top hat overflowing with bills: And take your newspapers and personal belongings with you, I got company comin' over tonight! –4 Train Overheard by: Anthony LoDuca Hobo: You think anyone ever went to Harvard and forgot about it? –Central Park Hobo, near no tripping hazards or holes: Watch your step! Don't fall! Look where you're going! Don't fall down! –4th & Broadway Singing hobo: I'm gonna be on Broadway! You're all invited! I don't care what you look like. Even you! (points to random man) –1 Train

…And He Bit My Leg.

Son: I’m thinking of an animal now.
Mother: Does it live in water?
Son: No.
Mother: Does it live on land?
Son: No.
Mother: Does it live in the air?
Son: No.
Mother: Does it live in the subway?
Son: Yes.
Mother: Is it a rat?
Son: No.
Mother: I give up.
Son: It’s a homeless person. –1 train Headline by: Johnny Utah Runners-Up:
· “Better Question: Does It Masturbate in the Subway?” – s m
· “Can We Hunt It for Sport on a Private Island?” – space coyote
· “Don’t Feed It… It’ll Shit Everywhere!” – Hobo Whisperer
· “Homeless: the Other Other White Meat” – Renee
· “New and Improved — Now with Rabies!” – greatly amused
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

The Drug Legalization Debate; NYC Edition

Hobo: Look, I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not hungry or sick, I just need some money so I can get high, but it’s just weed, I don’t do heroin or cocaine or any of that shit.
Guy: You know, it’s because of guys like you that people think pot should be illegal! Look at you! When I get high, I pay my own way! I earn my own money and get high! There are little kids on this train! What do you think they’re going to learn? Man, think a little! –4 train Overheard by: Alice S.

We're All Nine Meals Away from Being Wednesday One-Liners

Black hobo to rush-hour crowd: So, did ya' hear now Obama's president they gonna tear down the Statue of Liberty? Yeah, they gonna put up a new statue–one o' Aunt Jemima!" –Shuttle Train GCT Overheard by: Mrs. Butterworth Hobo: Hey, kids! I wish I was a kid again. Then I'd have a hundred million dollars! –Henry St, Brooklyn Heights Overheard by: Jesse Hobo to clerk: Don't worry, baby, I'll take care of the Gaza Strip. –Deli, 45th & 3rd Overheard by: LP Hobo to girl with boxing gloves attached to her backpack: Hi, there! Give a little money to help the homeless? (silence) I'll take anything but a punch in the face! –Astor & Lafayette Overheard by: Andi C. Shouting hobo: The family that scratches their butts together has smelly fingers! –34th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: Kramer Hobo crossing street and pushing shopping cart: Hi ho Silver! –23rd St & Park Ave