Archive for the ‘Hook Ups’ Category

Wednesday-One-Liners Head to Pound Town

Drinking college co-ed: It was like, my brain shut off, and my genitals went ‘woo-hoo!’

–60th & Amsterdam

Guy on cell: Sorry, I couldn’t make it. I was tied up. Hopefully, next time it’ll be you.

–116th & Broadway

Gay black man to black woman: Girl, I know the perfect guy for you. He will beast fuck you. He will fuck you like a white girl.

–Greenwich & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Artie

Black guy: I’ll do the wheelbarrow on the first date, I don’t give a fuck!

–Downtown 6 train

Overheard by: biz

Girl in bathroom stall: How many guys can I sleep with in a week and not be a slut?

–Soundz Lounge, Lasalle St & Broadway

Girl: I wondered why you kept talking about pony play!

–Elevator, 168th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Peter Pecker

Well-dressed man on cellphone: He must have had a dildo in his pants, and she grabbed onto that. It’s the only way they could have worked it.

–La Giancoma, second intermission, Metropolitan Opera

Overheard by: Schroeder

Wednesday One-Linezillas

Teenage bride-to-be on cell: …yeah. But, no, I’m totally ready to walk across the aisle. –Target, South Bronx Overheard by: so this is the bronx Suit: You expect me to spend the rest of my life with only one woman? One woman? One godforsaken woman?

–42nd St & Madison Hula hoop guy to tourist couple: Sir! I’ll show you! You don’t have to do it, but hula hoops have saved a lot of marriages! –Washington Square Park Old woman to imaginary friend: I’d make a great wife, mothafucka! –F train Overheard by: Trying Not to Laugh Girl: Can I do your brother at one of your weddings? –Monitor St, Brooklyn Young woman on cell: Well yeah, but he didn’t sleep with your bridesmaids. –82nd & Lex Man on cell: Ok, fine! You want to get married? –Upper West Side