Drinking college co-ed: It was like, my brain shut off, and my genitals went ‘woo-hoo!’
–60th & Amsterdam
Guy on cell: Sorry, I couldn’t make it. I was tied up. Hopefully, next time it’ll be you.
–116th & Broadway
Gay black man to black woman: Girl, I know the perfect guy for you. He will beast fuck you. He will fuck you like a white girl.
–Greenwich & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Artie
Black guy: I’ll do the wheelbarrow on the first date, I don’t give a fuck!
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: biz
Girl in bathroom stall: How many guys can I sleep with in a week and not be a slut?
–Soundz Lounge, Lasalle St & Broadway
Girl: I wondered why you kept talking about pony play!
–Elevator, 168th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Peter Pecker
Well-dressed man on cellphone: He must have had a dildo in his pants, and she grabbed onto that. It’s the only way they could have worked it.
–La Giancoma, second intermission, Metropolitan Opera
Overheard by: Schroeder