Hot chick: You know what? I hate all men. I have two nieces so I don’t even need to have kids. I can have sex any time I want, so I’m happy. –Art Gallery, SoHo Overheard by: Tibbie X
Hoochie #1: Jeffrey’s coming over tonight… Shit, I’m out of lube! And I’m broke. Fuck!
Hoochie #2: Use lip gloss. When you blow him, your lips won’t get chapped.
Hoochie #1: That’s why your lips are so nice!
Hoochie #1: I am such a make-out slut!
Hoochie #2: I used to be a make-out slut, too, but then I went pro.
–Grand Central shuttle to Times Square
Overheard by: Danielle
The music stops. Hoochie: What happened? I was totally channeling J. Lo! Ah, whatever. I do what I want. –Delancey Lounge, LES
Woman #1: You see that guy?
Woman #2: Who?
Woman #1: The bartender.
Woman #2: Yeah, what about him?
Woman #1: I fucked him.
Woman #2: Was he any good?
Woman #1: No, he sucked shit.
Woman #2: Are you still fucking him?
Woman #1: Hell, yeah!
Woman #2: Why the hell are you fucking him, then?
Woman #1: We’re getting free drinks, aren’t we? And besides I’m bored and not getting any other dick at the moment so I might as well. I’ll ditch his dumb good-looking ass soon.
Woman #2: You mean when you find another good dick!
Woman #1: Whatever.
Woman #2: Cheers. –Midtown Bar
Hoochie teen: Well, I’m still a virgin. I only let him put it in my ass.
Friend: You know that anal sex counts as sex, right?
Hoochie teen: Are you sure?
Hoochie #1: I can’t believe you did that!
Hoochie #2: I know, but he’s the president.
Hoochie #1: But you could get a disease or something!
Hoochie #2: Yeah, I know, but…
Overheard by: Haha are you kidding me…
Girl #1: He wasn’t even that cute. Like, not good-looking at all.
Girl #2: But you fucked him?
Girl #1: Of course, he was Puerto Rican. –Williamsburg Overheard by: Jim VB
Hoochie #1: I’m okay with abortions and everything, but I think if I had to get them every other month that’d be nasty.
Hoochie #2: Uh-huh.
–LIRR, Huntington Branch
Overheard by: Mark Schilsky
Slutty girl: I think someone should have a tattoo over their asshole that says ‘Do Not Enter.’
Friend: I nominate you.
–Fulton & Water St
Overheard by: Anon