Archive for the ‘Hootchies’ Category

Wednesday-One-Liners Head to Pound Town

Drinking college co-ed: It was like, my brain shut off, and my genitals went ‘woo-hoo!’

–60th & Amsterdam

Guy on cell: Sorry, I couldn’t make it. I was tied up. Hopefully, next time it’ll be you.

–116th & Broadway

Gay black man to black woman: Girl, I know the perfect guy for you. He will beast fuck you. He will fuck you like a white girl.

–Greenwich & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Artie

Black guy: I’ll do the wheelbarrow on the first date, I don’t give a fuck!

–Downtown 6 train

Overheard by: biz

Girl in bathroom stall: How many guys can I sleep with in a week and not be a slut?

–Soundz Lounge, Lasalle St & Broadway

Girl: I wondered why you kept talking about pony play!

–Elevator, 168th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Peter Pecker

Well-dressed man on cellphone: He must have had a dildo in his pants, and she grabbed onto that. It’s the only way they could have worked it.

–La Giancoma, second intermission, Metropolitan Opera

Overheard by: Schroeder

Like Squeezing a Stress Doll

Bouncer: Nice. Are those real?
Hottie: What do you think?
Bouncer: Can I check?
Hottie: You can poke at ‘em, just don’t feel them up. He does so. Bouncer: You can tell that they’re fake.
Hottie: Well, they’re bigger than they used to be. –Club Spirit, Chelsea Overheard by: Johnny Envelope

Wednesday One-Liner Often Wonder How It Started To Be Spelled That Way

Girl: …well it stopped working 'cause it got cum in it.

–W 27th St

Chick: I'm starving. The only protein I've had all day is an accidental cum shot to the face earlier this morning.

–SoHo

Guy to friends: If y'all was to really write it down and make a… a food chain of all of who used to date who, and who's dating who now, I bet you y'all got all the same juices running up in y'all system.

–2 Train

Overheard by: Kosi

Passing guy on cell: All I'm saying is everyone should have control over where their sperm goes.

–7th Ave

Hoochie on cell : Because I manage to get very juicy.

–L Train

Drunk girl at restaurant holding a champagne bottle: Excuse me, sir, can you open this for me? I'm afraid it's going to cum everywhere.

–Kaleidoscope, E 10th St

College dude: I bet there's semen somewhere on this grass.

–Great Lawn, Central Park

Overheard by: Liz