Nymphet: No, I am serious. Three is menage a trois, but after that it is just an orgy. –East Village
The music stops. Hoochie: What happened? I was totally channeling J. Lo! Ah, whatever. I do what I want. –Delancey Lounge, LES
Hoochie: I’ve been working for her for seven years. And I’ve been wanting to smack her up for seven years. And tonight, she gave me the opportunity.
Cashier: What if she called the police?
Hoochie: She couldn’t call no cops. It was self-defense. She’d go to jail. –Bodega, Bensonhurst
Hot girl #1: He was into weird shit.
Hot girl #2: Like what?
Hot girl #1: Well, nothing too crazy. Just unusual stuff. Like, he liked me to say degrading things to him as I was blowing him. If it wasn't sufficiently degrading he couldn't get off.
Hot girl #2: That is weird.
Hot girl #1: Yeah, and I mean, for one, I'm not really comfortable with that; and second, it's really hard to talk with a dick in your mouth.
Hot girl #2, seriously: Totally.
–Wine Bar, East Village
Overheard by: I've noticed this too.
Guy: That was a great blowjob.
Girl: You're still gonna fuck me, right?
Guy: Not tonight… I have to go home and buy some chicken for dinner.
–E 74th St & 1st Ave
Girl to friend: I think I just saw the guy I was with last night.
Friend: You gonna go say something to him?
Girl: No way! First he made me give him a handjob for like an hour, then he shot right in my eye. I think it's still red.
Friend: Your eye or his cock?
Girl: Either way, no second date.
–Downtown 3 Train
Overheard by: hellokitty
Drunk 20-something #1: Oh, I blame it completely on them.
Drunk 20-something #2: Why is that?
Drunk 20-something #1: Because they started it. They took out the tequila. I wound up playing quarters with my aunts and my grandmother. It's all their fault I was such a slut.
–Uptown R Train
Overheard by: Feeling awkward…
Obese 40-something Puerto Rican hoochie in black tube top: Hey, watch where you're going.
Little blonde teen: Sorry. Didn't realize you were late for your episode of “what not to wear.”
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: Jekke
Hoochie hispanic preteen #1: I can't fit into Victoria's Secret.
Hoochie hispanic preteen #2: Oh please, even my mom fits into Victoria's Secret, and she has three hands.
Hoochie hispanic preteen #1: Mmm-hmm. (shakes head approvingly)
Overheard by: I'm sorry it was hard not to hear
Old man in laundry room: I saw a young man the other day put about 8 Levi's in this little machine, here. They came out with soap all over them because he didn't give them enough room. I turned to him and said, "young man, you need your mother."
–25th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Adam and AMC
Old man, yelling at a passing ambulance with blaring sirens: Oh, shut the fuck up. Goddamnit!
–Broadway & Washington Place
Little old lady, passing a steep cellar: Wow. I wouldn't want to be drunk going down those stairs.
–Broome Street b/w Allen & Eldridge
Overheard by: always take the elevator
Little old lady to physical therapist: Can I Facebook friend you?
–Parkside Physical Therapy, 100th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Old Greek man to another: Ya gotta use ya mind, ya money, and ya mouth. Mmm. The three Ms.
Overheard by: ashley
Old lady with walker to nurse: I just love fresh air and a cigarette.
–5th & B
Overheard by: Adam Glaser
Older man to waiter: You didn't tell me that soup wasn't included. I can't believe you're charging someone of my generation for soup. I shouldn't have to pay for just water, chicken, and rice. Some of us here are on a fixed income. (to neighboring table) You be careful! Your bill's going to come to $30! (pays at register) You should have told me. Now I hope you're happy that tomorrow an old man won't be able to afford his medicine.
–New Wave Cafe, 79th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK