Archive for the ‘Horny’ Category

Wednesday Undie-Liners

College girl on cell: So as of last weekend I've pledged to be celibate for a year…although on second thought, it should really start today. I got pretty trashed last night and this morning I couldn't find the underwear I was wearing yesterday.

–Church St

Overheard by: Emma

20-something woman: Did you enjoy the bra fitting? Old lady grab your bits?

–Outside Town Shop

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Elderly woman examining bras: What's with all this padding? I got my own damn titties!

–H&M, 5th Ave

Overheard by: titti-less

Eight-year-old in a suit jacket on cell, strutting around the store: Did you see any hot, sexy girls? Yeah, but were they hot and sexy? Where are you, man? Are you still in the underwear aisle? Yeah, but are you still by the panties? (louder) The panties!

–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca

Overheard by: emdeebee

Trashy girl walking funny: Well, I guess I should have worn underwear.

–Arthur Ave

I'm About Twelve and a Half Hours Gay

Coked-out girl: Your friend is hot. Is she gay?
Drunk girl: I don't know. Are you gay?
Coked-out girl: I like the way Shakira puts it. (singing) “Whenever, wherever, we're meant to be together.”
(later on)
Coked-out girl
: Are you as straight as the day is long?

Drunk girl: Um, it depends…how long is the day?
Coked-out girl: Fourteen hours.

–Sophie's, 5th & Ave A

Overheard by: amazed

“Moose, Elk, or Animals”?

Young earnest female: I don't care what that Palin bitch says… I mean, she is hot… like I would do her if her old man bailed on her.
Young bored female friend: You don't got no sense. She does frickin' moose, elk or animals and things.
Young earnest female: Men does sheep, why not women?
Young bored female friend: You ain't got the equipment, for one thing…

–Pelham Stop 3

Overheard by: Deder

Wednesday One-Liners Are Serfectly Pober

Thugged-out camp counselor: Twenty dollars to get in?! This place better have an open bar ‘n’ some shit!

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: EthanK

Dude: Yo, this conversation is way too intellectual. Let’s go — I just wanna get drunk and find some hos…

–56th & 8th

Overheard by: JGT

30-ish dude on cell: Yeah, he was so drunk he tried to pay the tab with his health insurance card. Then he got mad when they wouldn’t take it.

–43rd & 9th

Guy on phone: That bar sounds awful. I’ll be right there!

–53rd & 3rd