Archive for the ‘Horny’ Category

Wednesday Would Hit These One-Liners in a Heartbeat

Random guy to everyone nearby: Yes, you are sexier than Conor Oberst–all of you.

–McCarren Park

Overheard by: Chris K

Beer guy: I got sexy beer for sexy people! Beer so cold it talks back to you! If you don't drink beer, you die!

–Brighton Beach

Overheard by: Damn, I'd better by a beer…

Little boy in preppy school uniform to Asian teenage girl: Mmmmmmm…I like sexy girls. I like them a loooot. (takes out imaginary cell phone) Mmmm, mmhmm…I'd like that. Ohhh.

–M1 Bus

Hobo to guy carrying mirror: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the sssssexiest of 'em all?

–13th & 5th

Freshman to group of friends: Yo, when Jack* first got his hair cut it looked mad weird, but now it looks mad sexy, no homo. It kind of looks like the Jonas Brothers.

–Bard High School Early College

Columbia girl: She was sexy, but she shouldn't have done that. That's so Adam Smith.

–1 train

Overheard by: EthanK

Wednesday Hotliners

Fat girl at bar: Be hot, be educated, bend me over. That's all I want.

–Kenny's Castaways

Overheard by: Richard

Conductor (bitchily): Ladies and gentlemen, if you think the car you are in is too hot, feel free to get up and move!

–NJ Transit, Penn Station

Teenage girl to friend: Yeah, right, like, "Hi, I took the school bus with you in elementary school. Now you're really hot." (both laugh)

–Hunter College High School

Overheard by: Rosebud

Man on phone: Hey man, she was hot. But listen, don't tell her I have a girlfriend, okay?

–5th Ave & 10th St

Overheard by: i'm going to break it to her gently

Teenage girl on cell: Yes, I know you're not supposed to take pills from people you don't know, but he was so hot! And then I think I had sex with him.

–Chinatown Bus Station

Overheard by: Emily

A NYC Bathroom Is a Multi-Purpose Space

Old white man, with beard and metrosexual outfit: How was that party?
Obnoxiously loud Indian girl: Shit, there was this really gross dude. He was so gross and so horny!
Old white man: Was he hitting on you?
Obnoxiously loud Indian girl: No. He was was hitting on every girl at that house party. He went up to each of my friends. Oh, he's so gross. They were each telling him to get away.
Old white man: He was probably the only straight guy invited to the party, then.
Obnoxiously loud Indian girl: He was so gross, he started talking to my friend. Later I walk in the bathroom, and she is fucking him!

–Union Square

Overheard by: H Ramachandran (rolling my eyes)

I'm About Twelve and a Half Hours Gay

Coked-out girl: Your friend is hot. Is she gay?
Drunk girl: I don't know. Are you gay?
Coked-out girl: I like the way Shakira puts it. (singing) “Whenever, wherever, we're meant to be together.”
(later on)
Coked-out girl
: Are you as straight as the day is long?

Drunk girl: Um, it depends…how long is the day?
Coked-out girl: Fourteen hours.

–Sophie's, 5th & Ave A

Overheard by: amazed