Junkie #1: He’s a millionaire…just gives his money away. He’s a Jew bastard. But he writes his check like a chicken scratch.
Junkie #2: Oh, they can’t write anyway.
–Meth clinic, 161st Street
Archive for the ‘Hospitals’ Category
From the Little-seen Christmas Special Are You Racist, Charlie Brown?
Five-year-old black girl: Let's play I spy!
Six-year-old black girl: I spy… Something brown!
Five-year-old black girl: The chair!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: The door!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: Us!
Six-year-old black girl: No… We're black, stupid!
–Waiting Room, Eye & Ear Hospital
Wednesday RU-486-Liners
Guy on cell: That's the good thing about abortions–you can have like three a day.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Ghetto dude: I told her, I was like "if you get pregnant you best get an abortion, cause I ain't helping you with that shit." I mean, I would help her, but I gotta get that shit in her head.
–N Train
Overheard by: Jill
30-something woman to boyfriend: There be some muthafuckas up in here who think this shit some form of birth control. I'm woman enough; I gave birth to six kids. I ain't doin' it again.
–Abortion Clinic, Queens
Crazy guy on subway, preaching: You know why there's 100 million Mexicans in America? Abortion!
–W Train
Your Dad's the Big Lebowski?
Intake worker: Mother's first name?
Patient: Cynthia.
Intake worker: And your father's?
Patient: Yeah, I don't know that, dude.
–ER, St. Luke's
Contemporary American Society: Encapsulated.
ER Dr : What's your boyfriend's last name?
Bimbo: I don't know, but we're friends on Facebook, I could look it up.
–Beth Israel Emergency Room
Overheard by: Doc_Becca
…If I Have to Choose
Nurse: Do you live alone or do you live by yourself?
Patient: I live alone.
–NYU Hospital
Overheard by: Luis
Ahahahahhaha!
Suit to guy in scrubs: How did you find her hemorrhoid?
Guy in scrubs: I gave it to her up the ass last night.
Suit: Win-win, I guess.
–Elevator, Mount Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: ECW
Wednesday One-Liners for Change
Black lady to family in obama t-shirts: You know how all those irish people have pictures of kennedy hanging up in their living rooms? Now we can do that too!
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Definitely has a JFK picture in her apartment
Guy selling obama-themed condoms: Remember the election with every erection!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Mary Button
Black woman with a child in her stroller braiding her hair: There's gona be a lot of braidin in the white house.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Subway surfer
Woman on cell phone: Girl, if I can get to the front of the line at the vma's I can get to the front of the line at the damn inauguration. Shiiiit it's barack obama, girl!
–manhattan dental waiting room
Overheard by: Catherine
Stoned kid to a group of his friends discussing politics: You know what's scary bro? If obama gets assassinated, george bush is gonna be president again.
–1 Train @ 2AM going Downtown
Black man handing out metro: "get your obama metro! Get your obama metro! See, anyone can be president… I'm next!"
–59th Street, Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Yes we can!
One-Liners Mean What Wednesdays Say They Mean
Blonde to brunette: So that made it even worser… Worser? More worse? Or is it just worse? Noooo. Worser. Or just worse? No! More worse. Worser?
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Agitated young man: I was dramatized by all dat what just happen … dramatized, son. Dramatized.
–Hospital, 10th Ave
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Obese woman pushing stroller: Yo! I told you I don't wanna hear noes, ifs, ants, or buts about it.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: john ainley
Young French lady: We are gonna weaponised a pumpkin!
–French Consulate, Upper East Side
Overheard by: James
Wednesday One-Liners Kill You With Your Own Collarbone
Drunk to Asian guy: Tell me, why is it that when Asians get in street fights, they never use their martial arts?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Fonvielle
Waiter: Please let me know if you have any food allergies. We ninjas don't like to kill by accident; we only kill on purpose.
–Ninja Japanese Restaurant
Little boy to grandfather: Hey grandpa, are you a black belt or any kind of ninja?
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jess
Health care worker: I'ma kill that ninja!
–Brooklyn Health Center