Archive for the ‘Hospitals’ Category

I Smell Romantic Comedy Gold!

Nurse #1: Fuck, I hate Mr. Williams. That fucker won’t shut the hell up. Every time he’s here he wants me to be his nurse.
Nurse #2, laughing: Mr. Williams likes you.
Nurse #3: I don’t know why you’re laughing, Mary. At least she doesn’t have an 80-year-old dyke putting the moves on her. –South Ward, Albert Einstein Hospital

Doctor, It Hurts When I Wednesday My One-Liners!

White college girl: I would definitely want to be a doctor, if I didn't have to go to medical school. –Fordham University Nurse to another: Well, it seems that the themes of the day were UTIs and pregnancies. –NYU Student Health Center Overheard by: had neither Black male pre-teen to mother: I know all about doctors, 'cause I watch shows about that. (pause) Actually, I watch Dr Phil. –1 Train Guy to two girls: I had to fire my doctor, I didn't like what he told me. –39th & Lexington Doctor, drawing on napkin and displaying results to student: This is you…in 40 years, in a fugue state. In Turkey. Dissociative fugue–learn neurology! –168th & Fort Washington

I Wanna Dip My Wednesday One-Liners in It!

Dude, walking up to security desk in emergency room: Hi. It feels like my balls are about to fall off. –St. Lukes Roosevelt Hospital Overheard by: Kate Melvin Stoner chick: The girls are all hairy balls, and the photos look like hairy balls, and they wear hairy ball sacks, but Tyra is the biggest hairy ball of them all. –7 train Overheard by: bronwyn Out-of-place guido: I ain’t wearing nothin’ that touches my balls to my asshole! –8th Ave Overheard by: finds it comforting Teenage boy to friends, about a movie: Yooo, it’s like a chick flick with balls!!! You know, like a guy’s chick flick!!!" –E 85th St & 3rd Ave Guy: I use Burt’s bees for my balls. –Broadway & W 4th Overheard by: Jake R Guy #1 to guy #2: I really think you’d feel a lot better if you felt my balls. –6th Ave & Bleecker