Archive for the ‘Hot dog stands’ Category

What's Your Sign, Wednesday One-Liner?

Young man to pretty girl with glasses eating hot dog: That hot dog matches your beautiful glasses! –Hot Dog Stand, 34th St Overheard by: gothchick Dude to girls crossing street: Hey, miss ladies! Youse look nice out! –Ludow & Stanton Overheard by: M & J Guy to girl passing by: El sexy-o! I know how to say it in Spanish, I wanna know how to say it in Caucasian! –14th St & 1st Ave Crazy guy: Hey, Snow White! Come talk to Black Beauty. Cuz you know vanilla and chocolate make a good fudge, girl. –W 110th St Overheard by: Ashley Bro standing in sidewalk, harassing passing girls: Hello! I've been waiting all my life for you! Hello, where have you been all my life? Hello, I eat pussy. Hello, I've got money. Hello? –Union Square Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Always Add Up

Conductor: We have eleven cars today. If we only have five cars tomorrow, don't have short term memory loss and say, "five cars, this happens all the time." –Metro North Hot dog vendor to guys standing behind stand: 100 times I've fucked, and have 98 kids. –Outside Metropolitan Museum of Art Teen hipster girl to friend : On a scale of one to ten, how many cars are coming? –33rd St & 8th Ave Overheard by: Erika Angry man on cell: Don't talk to me like that! I'll leave you! I will leave you! You know how many women there are in this world? (pause) A thousand! –45th St & 8th Ave Overheard by: Native Ear

Does a Wednesday One-Liner Shit in the Woods?

Puzzled guy on cell: What kind of girl calls you a "cuddly wuddly bear" and doesn't go out with you? –The Village Overheard by: Greene Hobo: Hey there, folks! I'm Yogi Bear! Have you seen Ranger Rick? –Gray's Papaya Overheard by: Zach Woman on cell: I'm glad the evil bear didn't kill you in your sleep! –113th & Broadway Overheard by: Ladle Drunk girl to sober companion: Oh my god, I saw this dog the other day. It was a bear! –Tick-Tock Diner Outraged girl on cell: She's anti-polar bear? –NYU Campus Overheard by: nina

What Day Do We Post Wednesday One-Liners?

Suit to security guard: Which elevator goes next door? –1 Penn Plaza Overheard by: Nora Hot dog vendor: To go? –Hot Dog Stand, 62nd & 3rd Overheard by: Chrissy Woman holding Dunkin Donuts mug to employee: Excuse me, can this mug hold cold drinks as well, or just hot ones? –Dunkin Donuts, 76th & York Woman: Crepe cafe? What do they do there? (comes closer) Ohhhh, they make crepes? –Crepe Cafe Cart, W 50th St Overheard by: Dianora 20-something girl to friend: What are we even walking for again? –Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk, Central Park Laughing, genuinely amazed Columbia underclassman: Isn't it, like, amazing, how we know what is food and what isn't food? –W 114th Street b/w Broadway & Amsterdam Overheard by: Susan Volchok Conductor: Next stop is…where am I? –Uptown 1 Train

Anything in the Middle of Nowhere Counts As ‘Down South’

Haitian worker #1: Yo, no offense, but that’s what I don’t like about black girls.
Haitian worker #2: Yeah…
Haitian worker #1: You gotta find yourself a good white girl. And not just one from, like, Baltimore, ’cause they mad ghetto. You gotta find a good white girl from, like, Indianapolis, You know, down South. –Gray’s Papaya, Chelsea

Wednesday One-Liners Thought Felicity Huffman Deserved that Oscar

Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys? –42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory. –Bus in Lincoln Tunnel TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn. –NYU Silver Center Overheard by: Limey Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’ –26th St Overheard by: agrees with that girl College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman? –114th & Broadway Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate. –Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn