Archive for the ‘Hotels’ Category

Wednesday One-Drink-Minimum Liners

Man arguing with woman: I was single and drunk and shit happened. –3rd Ave & 13th St Man to woman: If I wasn't so diabetic I wouldn't have got so drunk. –14th St & Ave A Overheard by: S Enthusiastic 30-something woman: This is a fine time for me to start drinking again! –Blue Bar, Algonquin Hotel Overheard by: Terry Girl to friends: I don't think I'm a whore. It just enhances what you would normally do with less judgment. –Astoria Overheard by: The Princess og Fancy Excited girl: I haven't drunk since the last time we drank! –1st Ave & 7th St Overheard by: Erin

Wednesday One-Liners' Meters Are Running

Girl to boy: You're just upset that I kicked you out without shoes, and I didn't give you cab fare. –Black Bear Lodge, 3rd Ave Guy, after cab splashed water on him: That cab just jizzed on me! –Broadway & Eagerly Waspy queer on cell: No, no, take the subway. Just for the experience. Don't take a cab. Cabs are for spoiled people. –M23 bus Overheard by: Rose Fox Girl, yelling into window of off-duty taxi: Fine! We're waiting for the cash cab anyway! –3rd & Sullivan Overheard by: Heather

Wednesday Accidentally Leaves a Sponge in the One-Liner

Woman: I told him I wasn't opposed to dinner just because he's had a vasectomy. –Columbia University Overheard by: Meister Preppy guy: They took cartilage out of his ear and put it in my nose. –Penn Station Overheard by: Ladle UES woman: I'm going to get my nails done, then get a colonoscopy in Queens. –89th and Park Overheard by: AeC and jRw Woman on phone: Well, of course I got it removed
Woman: It hurt like hell. –Elevator in the Hudson Hotel Guy on phone, Nnoz done: Hts okay – it's just routine anal surgery! –Astor Place Overheard by: Tam

Winesday One-Liners

Mom on cell: So, she's a drunkard and you're taking her to a wine tasting? –Park Ave Overheard by: bad idea Snooty hipster to girlfriend: This event is missing two things. One is wine and the other is cheese. –Book Signing, Cobble Hill Man to woman, looking at a wine list: Sure it's good wine. Brandon buys it by the case and takes it fishing. –W Hotel Restaurant Overheard by: Bob Leblaw Crazy MTA employee lady: If you step over the line you will get a fine! And will not be able to dine on all that boxed wine! The fine, it will not be divine! And then you will whine. So don't step over the yellow line! –4 Train Overheard by: also stepped over the line

Just Like Les Mis!

40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Hey! How's it going?! Where are you from?
40-something regular guy: Seattle. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Newport Beach, California! What are you off to do?
40-something regular guy: Dinner and some drinks with friends. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Me and a buddy are going to take mushrooms and go see Young Frankenstein for the third time! It's hilarious when you're high! –Elevator, Sheraton Hotel

An Inconvenient Wednesday One-Liner

Mother to small child: Well, the weather's nice today, so it's a good afternoon to go to the park, play on the playground, go on the swings, or attack daddy. (pause) Or…you know, whatever else you feel like doing. –Gramercy Overheard by: Max Fancy woman waking out of building, on cell, during snow squall: It's either snow or debris. I can't tell. –Grand Army Plaza Overheard by: snow. trust me. Five-year-old girl: It's snowing way too much in Columbus Circle! Fuck! I am going to file a complaint! –Columbus Circle Overheard by: queenofscots Older hot guy: It's as cold as a drunken French whore in the old Bastille days! –W 4th St Woman to neighbor: Hey, girl, do you see this snow? It's the end of the world!
(pause) Have a great day! –140th St & Amsterdam

A Shitload Of Wednesday One-Liners

Eight-year-old Russian boy, in Martin Luther King voice: I had a dream, that one day…I pooped. (giggles) –Q Ttrain Overheard by: Robert G. Drunk bro on phone: I know I'm not the guy you fuck in the shower, but can I shit on your chest? –Fordham University Woman on cell: There's no law against defecation. –3rd Ave & 10th St Overheard by: SophieMed Man whispering into cell: I'm going to have to take a number two while we're talking. –Sunshine Suites Young man on cell: We're in the ticket line. Are you still pooping? –Castle Clinton Overheard by: B Fraz 20-something guy to friends: When I poop on something, I want someone to notice! –Bushwick, Brooklyn Overheard by: I prefer to flush