Archive for the ‘Hudson River’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Go Directly to My Thighs

Professor, seriously: Were you involved in the jelly bean incident? –Physics Hallway, Trinity School Overheard by: Siena CSR: Stale peeps are excellent! Now, that is one finely-aged peep. –Hudson & Houston Overheard by: Harriet Vane Man to friends sitting on bench: You either look at the girl or you look at the ice cream! –Outside Sundaes & Cones, 10th & 3rd Overheard by: The Girl Anonymous Cheerful gift shop clerk on phone: So I got my peanut buttercups and then Anne* saw me on the street and came up to me, and punched me in the face and was all "Give me a peanut buttercup!" and I said "but there are only two in the package and I was saving one for Robert*!" Then she punched me in the face again! –The Cloisters Overheard by: Rose Fox Greek waitress: Ice cream without whipped cream is like… girl without boyfriend! –Diner, Bay Ridge Overheard by: Jon A.

Can You Get Wednesday One-Liners from a Toilet Seat?

Girl swimming in the Hudson River: I'm afraid if I take a pee, I'll get a venereal disease! –Hudson River & 26th St Overheard by: Nellie (student #1 loudly hacks up a lung, while everyone else turns around in horror)
Student #2: Whoa, what do you have, chlamydia or something? –11th Grade English Classroom, Bushwick Overheard by: The Teacher Angry drunk man to bemused drunk woman: I don't wanna fuck you, okay? I'm just saying I don't have genital warts! –Ave A & Houston Groaning guy on corner: I really don't want crabs… –53rd & 6th 20-something woman: Everybody has issues. They're like herpes one. –St. Mark's Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred

Read My Lips, Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: No I'm not bringing anything, this is not a date, it's 10 o'clock on a Friday night. I'm bringing my vagina, that's what I'm bringing. –Court St & 2nd Place Girl on cell: I mean, there's nothing obviously wrong with my vagina! –23rd & 7th Girl on bike: I feel like I've had a pencil up my vagina for 10 hours! –Hudson River Bike Path Distraught NYU student: I'm covered in vaginal cream. –NYU Dorm, Union Square Overheard by: Erica Fuld Hurried young guy on cell: Well, you can't just sniff anyone's vagina! –W 52nd b/w 9th & 10th Ave Gay on phone: But what does her vag look like? –Chelsea Overheard by: Liz

Wednesday One-Liners Cunt Hardly Wait

Thuggette: She just went in there to scoop her vagina out and then she came back. –Hudson River Park Teenage girl on cell: Yeah, I got a Brazilian wax for the first time yesterday. And now I'm afraid of the power of my own vagina. –1 Train Overheard by: westchester girl Adorable little girl: I was born in 2002, from my mom's vagina. –New York Harbor Overheard by: Barry P. Man to woman: Ohhhh, is she the one with maggots in her vagina? –51st & 9th Overheard by: Highstein Chick on cell: Tell her to put that in her pipe and smoke it. Or even better, in her vagina. (sarcastically) Ooh, penetration! –Penn Station Overheard by: Poogins Very large black man: My penis' jus' as impo-tant as her vagina.
Small meek white man: (nods in agreement or fear) –A Train