Archive for the ‘Hugs’ Category

Wednesday-One-Liner Me, Kate

Black lesbian hipster: Don't, like, kiss me or look into my eyes…just fuck me and then buy me lunch.

–Eugene Lang College

Overheard by: Helena the Great

Little boy to sister, watching couple kissing and hugging: Ewwwwww! He kissed her!

–3rd Ave & 34th St

Overheard by: Valley

Guy on cell: So then if she has herpes, should I not kiss her?

–PATH Train

Woman to toddler: Yes, it's good. It's very good. Kissing and hugging are good.

–Eldridge St, Chinatown

Overheard by: wheelerface

Dad, to teenage son: Hey, Karen kissed me. And it was real.

–E 20th St

Overheard by: Angela

250-pound male Metro worker, singing gruffly: I kissed a girl and I liked it!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Chis K

Other Parts Of My Body Would Love a Hug, Though.

Hippie girl: Free hugs! We're giving out free hugs today! (to preppy guy on park bench) Hey! Would you like a free hug today?
Guy: No, thank you.
Hippie girl: Why not?
Guy: Actually, I just had a minor surgical procedure on my abdomen. I shouldn't hug anyone until it heals.
Hippie girl: Well, that sucks. A hug might make you feel better, though!
Guy: I'm pretty sure that a hug would open up the incision on my abdomen from the surgical procedure. I'm told this would increase my odds of infection. Thanks anyway, though.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Double-M

Embrace Your Wednesday One-Liners

Guy at party: I'm known for my creepy hugs.

–16th St & Union Square

Overheard by: Kitty

Hobo: Okay, you know the drill. I'm hungry, give me money so I can buy breakfast.
(nobody does) Alright, if you don't want to give any money, if you're reasonably attractive, hug a brotha! That works too.

–F Train

Panhandler: Any little bit helps, folks. Pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters. If you don't have any money this morning and you're, like, really attractive, you can just give me a big hug and rub up on me a little bit, and we'll call it even.

–F Train

Overheard by: kdice

Woman's voice on public announcement system: You want me to hug you?

–Port Authority

Ghetto Latina, seeing MTA worker hug crying bag lady: Shit, I'm from the Bronx, born and raised, and I ain't never seen no subway man be giving out free hugs. I seen shouting matches, I seen drug deals, I seen fist fights, but I ain't never seen no free hugs in a subway station. That's some fuckin dedication right there.

–59th St. Subway Station

Overheard by: slc boy

Subway panhandler: If you don't have any food, but you do happen to be, like, incredibly good looking, I do accept hugs. (middle aged man with L.L.Bean backpack smiles and holds his arms open invitingly) I'll have to give you a raincheck on that one, sir.

–F Train

Overheard by: linda

Wednesday One-Liners, Not Drugs

Muscle man to another: You have to hug me more!

–18th & 6th

Overheard by: Joe Fenton

Hobo: I won’t hug you if you give me money.

–6 train

Overheard by: Gabrielle

Little tourist girl, arms outstretched: Mommy, I just want to hug New York!

–49th, between 6th & 7th

Overheard by: Scarfish

Lesbo on cell: I just hugged a man. I don’t even know him!

–Christopher St

Overheard by: Jericho n’ drop

Panhandler: If you don’t have money and you’re fairly attractive, give me a hug and we’ll call it even.

–F train

Wednesday One-Liners Set the Bar Low and Then Step Over It

Friend: First you suspect he’s a date rapist, and now you’re worried he isn’t going to call? –Union Square Trendy woman: I need to be touched by a man in a loving way…It doesn’t even have to be loving. –Pirates of the Caribbean 2 advance screening, the Ziegfield Overheard by: Nick Draven 20-something girl on cell: I just wanna kiss someone! –M15 bus Girl: I’m going to make out with someone tonight. I’ve already decided. –4th St, between 1st & 2nd Overheard by: Ted Well-dressed guy: You just hate that you can’t get a one-eyed, homeless black guy to think you’re hot. –B train Overheard by: Sugarnuts