Archive for the ‘Hunter’ Category

Wednesday Off-the-Rack-Liners

20-something man on cell: I just bought another Transformers t-shirt. That means I am one Transformers t-shirt away from being able to only wear Transformers t-shirts. –9th Ave & 45th St Overheard by: Serena Male art teacher: What's wrong with chiffon? If I were home right now, I would be wearing chiffon. –Hunter College High School Bar owner to college kid wearing suit: Look atchu all dressed up. What, are you goin' on a game show or somethin? –Citi Bar Overheard by: Lulu 20-something girl on cell: You should've known when you liked his clothes that he was going to be overly emotional. No one who dresses that good can hold it all together. –Locker Room, Crunch Gym Guy to group of friends: Yeah, so I said to him, "Mike, it's a problem when you wearin' the same clothes as your daughter.'" –5th Ave & 14th St Overheard by: Sue

Wordsworth’s Like a Pile of Puke Compared to Luther Vandross

Student: For my song poem, I chose ‘Always and Forever,’ remade by Luther Vandross.
Professor, singing: Always and forever, each moment with you is just like a dream to me that somehow came true…
Student: Ahem. I have to read the poem. [After student is done reading, professor leads class in singing the whole song.] –Hunter College Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl

Wednesday One-Liners Click “It’s Complicated”

Chick: It’s about your cyber personality, and if your cyber personality doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me on Facebook, that’s okay! –NYU Hayden Staircase Coed: I don’t know… if Sheryl* with the two kids by the two different baby-daddies can have a good MySpace, I think pretty much anyone should be able to do it. –Hunter College Overheard by: ImmaculatePizza Hipster girl: It looks like MySpace exploded in there! –The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St Overheard by: Cassie 20-something girl: So, the quadriplegic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Facebook last night. –Chipotle, 51st & 8th Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, really. –Near Holland Tunnel Overheard by: Claire H. Angry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not changing my Facebook status! –6th & Ave A Overheard by: Kremilyse 30-ish woman: I said I wouldn’t date him ’til he gets rid of the typos on his MySpace profile… Am I a snob? –Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights Overheard by: ball-and-veining tool

Shh! We Haven’t Annexed Them Yet

Businessguy: …and then she said, “Let’s meet up in Barcelona next weekend.” Like that’s close!
Businesswoman: You have bonus miles though, don’t you? Plus, you need a vacation anyway, so why not?
Businessman: I’d rather have her come visit me on American soil, like we could go to Montreal for the Grand Prix maybe… –70th & Lex

What's “Wednesday One-Liner,” Anyway?

Earnest sidewalk pollster: Sir? Have you got a minute to talk about the sanitation department? Do you think it's normal? –51st St & Lexington Overheard by: jake-e Conductor, bending down before fainted man: C'mon! Dude! What did I tell you before? Get up and sit down and pass out in the seat like regular normal people. People think you're dead. Get up. –Uptown 6 Train Overheard by: I guess not a normal person Girl, during History of Islam class: Miracles show us what's normal and what's, like, super above normal. –Hunter College Woman, bending down to adjust child: You have to walk normally now–like a normal person. –Museum of Natural History Nerd guy to friend: It wouldn't be child labor. You just hook them up to electrodes, connect them to the the power grid, and have them play on the playground like normal! –Shuttle to Times Square

But White Cigarettes Are Okay?

Asshole: Hey, do you have a cigarette?
Stranger #1: No.
Stranger #2: You can have one of mine.
Asshole: Thanks, this guy (points) has some, but he won't give me one.
(stranger #1 gives asshole cigarette and a white lighter)
Asshole, lighting cigarette: Hey, you know white lighters are bad luck?
Stranger #1: So?
Asshole: You should get a new lighter.
Stranger #1: You should get your own fucking cigarette.
Stranger #2: Yeah, fuck you! –Hunter College Overheard by: off white

Wednesday One-Liner Cheney

NYU frat boy to another: Remember that time you popped that zit on my dick?! –Waverly Place & Broadway Overheard by: lezbotron Older suit to younger suit: If you want people to move out of your way you just gotta say shit like: pussy, dick, cunt! (people move out of the way) See? –Brooklyn Overheard by: Brad Thug to another, exiting a deli: The Salvation Army can suck my dick. –Stanton & Ludlow Overheard by: CN Girl wearing hijab: That depends on whose dick it is! –Hunter College, 68th & Lexington Overheard by: off white