Archive for the ‘Hunter’ Category

But White Cigarettes Are Okay?

Asshole: Hey, do you have a cigarette?
Stranger #1: No.
Stranger #2: You can have one of mine.
Asshole: Thanks, this guy (points) has some, but he won't give me one.
(stranger #1 gives asshole cigarette and a white lighter)
Asshole, lighting cigarette: Hey, you know white lighters are bad luck?
Stranger #1: So?
Asshole: You should get a new lighter.
Stranger #1: You should get your own fucking cigarette.
Stranger #2: Yeah, fuck you! –Hunter College Overheard by: off white

Wednesday One-Liner Cheney

NYU frat boy to another: Remember that time you popped that zit on my dick?! –Waverly Place & Broadway Overheard by: lezbotron Older suit to younger suit: If you want people to move out of your way you just gotta say shit like: pussy, dick, cunt! (people move out of the way) See? –Brooklyn Overheard by: Brad Thug to another, exiting a deli: The Salvation Army can suck my dick. –Stanton & Ludlow Overheard by: CN Girl wearing hijab: That depends on whose dick it is! –Hunter College, 68th & Lexington Overheard by: off white

Maybe the Socratic Method Isn’t So Hot after All

Girl #1: So, I had tofu the other day.
Girl #2: What’s tofu?
Girl #1: That stuff that looks like cheese but isn’t.
Girl #2: What does it taste like?
Girl #1: It kinda tastes like meat and spaghetti… but there’s no meat in it.
Girl #2: Then how the hell does it taste like meat?
Girl #1: I dunno. Maybe there is meat in it after all.
Girl #2: True, true. –Hunter College Overheard by: That’s news to me

Wednesday One-Liners Giggle and Snort

Nerdy serious white guy: See, that's what's great about going to Afghanistan. I'm no good at talking to women. –N Train Overheard by: annearchist Nerd walking into archaeology class from noisy hallway: Do you hear the roman legion? –Hunter College Nerdy guy on cell: Yeah, she's an exhibitionist. She needs to be punished, but who's going to do it? –JCPenny Geeky Korean kid outside high school: I'm not really bad. I'm, like, medium-bad. You know, like, bad… But still good. –Flushing, Queens Overheard by: Samantha Nerd to another: Your entire belief system is based on the rotundity of Darth Vader… That is a farce. –Columbia University Overheard by: Nicole

Wednesday One-Liners Are What They Are By Virtue of Their Relationships

Girl: …because I feel like we’re going out. It’s just that he won’t call me. –Dunkin’ Donuts, E 14th St Overheard by: MK Homegirl to boyfriend: No, no, that’s not what I said, that’s what you heard. –1st & Ave B Overheard by: Mollena Girl: In the last few years, every time I go away to Paris with someone, I end up breaking up with them. –San Loco, 7th St & 2nd Ave B&T girl #1 to B&T girl #2: If you lived in NYC, you’d totally find a boyfriend. You totally, totally would. –LIRR to Penn Station Overheard by: Pia Peanutbuttas Sassy chick: I was having a glass of wine with him, and he didn’t have anything to say to me. So I licked his ear. –Harlem Overheard by: McN Shrewd observer: That’s not dating. It’s called being on parole. –West Building, Hunter College Woman on cell: Well, I happen to like our Goddamn relationship, thank you very much! –Central Park Overheard by: Mike

Like Chaka Khan

Cashier woman: Put that down! Will you put that down?!
Cafeteria aid, holding an issue of The Source: Why should I? This ain’t yours! You’re, like, fifty!
Cashier woman: Shit, you don’t know me. I might be a hip-hop granny. –Hunter College Overheard by: steve d.