Archive for the ‘Hunter’ Category

Maybe the Socratic Method Isn’t So Hot after All

Girl #1: So, I had tofu the other day.
Girl #2: What’s tofu?
Girl #1: That stuff that looks like cheese but isn’t.
Girl #2: What does it taste like?
Girl #1: It kinda tastes like meat and spaghetti… but there’s no meat in it.
Girl #2: Then how the hell does it taste like meat?
Girl #1: I dunno. Maybe there is meat in it after all.
Girl #2: True, true. –Hunter College Overheard by: That’s news to me

Wednesday One-Liners Giggle and Snort

Nerdy serious white guy: See, that's what's great about going to Afghanistan. I'm no good at talking to women. –N Train Overheard by: annearchist Nerd walking into archaeology class from noisy hallway: Do you hear the roman legion? –Hunter College Nerdy guy on cell: Yeah, she's an exhibitionist. She needs to be punished, but who's going to do it? –JCPenny Geeky Korean kid outside high school: I'm not really bad. I'm, like, medium-bad. You know, like, bad… But still good. –Flushing, Queens Overheard by: Samantha Nerd to another: Your entire belief system is based on the rotundity of Darth Vader… That is a farce. –Columbia University Overheard by: Nicole

Wednesday One-Liners Are What They Are By Virtue of Their Relationships

Girl: …because I feel like we’re going out. It’s just that he won’t call me. –Dunkin’ Donuts, E 14th St Overheard by: MK Homegirl to boyfriend: No, no, that’s not what I said, that’s what you heard. –1st & Ave B Overheard by: Mollena Girl: In the last few years, every time I go away to Paris with someone, I end up breaking up with them. –San Loco, 7th St & 2nd Ave B&T girl #1 to B&T girl #2: If you lived in NYC, you’d totally find a boyfriend. You totally, totally would. –LIRR to Penn Station Overheard by: Pia Peanutbuttas Sassy chick: I was having a glass of wine with him, and he didn’t have anything to say to me. So I licked his ear. –Harlem Overheard by: McN Shrewd observer: That’s not dating. It’s called being on parole. –West Building, Hunter College Woman on cell: Well, I happen to like our Goddamn relationship, thank you very much! –Central Park Overheard by: Mike

Like Chaka Khan

Cashier woman: Put that down! Will you put that down?!
Cafeteria aid, holding an issue of The Source: Why should I? This ain’t yours! You’re, like, fifty!
Cashier woman: Shit, you don’t know me. I might be a hip-hop granny. –Hunter College Overheard by: steve d.

Anthony Michael Hall: “Can I Borrow Your Wednesday One-Liners for 10 Minutes?”

Professor: They make disposable everything these days. Disposable diapers, disposable razors. They even make edible underwear, don't they? (class is silent) Yes! They do! (pause) Maybe I'm telling you more about myself than I should be… –Wagner College Girl: Wait, my panties! –Franklin St Guy on phone: I told you to take your thong off! –60th & Columbus Man: I do not want to know your bra size! Ever! –Hunter College Overheard by: Christina M. Guy on cell: He wore boxers and it was like, "okay, so you hang to the left…" –W 46th St Older gentleman to lady friend: If this keeps up, I'm going to have to start wearing underwear. –14th St & 1st Ave Overheard by: Kat

Wednesday One-Liners Sound Kinda Non-U

Student: Yeah, someone who plays the cello is a cellist, someone who makes art is an artist, and someone who writes poetry is a poist. –Hunter College High School Heavily accented Asian cashier to heavily accented Asian coworker: What!? Speaka English, por favor. –J2 Deli, W 18th St Overheard by: nick m Bimbo looking at scoreboard: I think the "e" stands for "exqualifications" You know, for when a player is "exqualified". –Yankees Stadium Lady: I know what I am, he ain't gonna labelize me. –Washington Square Park Real estate agent: And all the doormen and service staff are Easter European. –Park Avenue Overheard by: Looking for an apartment Ghetto college girl: I'll talk to you later, I gots to get my learn on, girl. –Brooklyn College Overheard by: Corey

Wednesday One-Liners Adjust Their Tiaras

JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer. –Spot’s Café JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies! –Hunter College Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine. –University & 12th JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion! –17th & 6th NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight! –Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm Overheard by: Maya G. Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time. –1 Train Overheard by: Ponine