Professor: They make disposable everything these days. Disposable diapers, disposable razors. They even make edible underwear, don't they? (class is silent) Yes! They do! (pause) Maybe I'm telling you more about myself than I should be… –Wagner College Girl: Wait, my panties! –Franklin St Guy on phone: I told you to take your thong off! –60th & Columbus Man: I do not want to know your bra size! Ever! –Hunter College Overheard by: Christina M. Guy on cell: He wore boxers and it was like, "okay, so you hang to the left…" –W 46th St Older gentleman to lady friend: If this keeps up, I'm going to have to start wearing underwear. –14th St & 1st Ave Overheard by: Kat
Student: Yeah, someone who plays the cello is a cellist, someone who makes art is an artist, and someone who writes poetry is a poist. –Hunter College High School Heavily accented Asian cashier to heavily accented Asian coworker: What!? Speaka English, por favor. –J2 Deli, W 18th St Overheard by: nick m Bimbo looking at scoreboard: I think the "e" stands for "exqualifications" You know, for when a player is "exqualified". –Yankees Stadium Lady: I know what I am, he ain't gonna labelize me. –Washington Square Park Real estate agent: And all the doormen and service staff are Easter European. –Park Avenue Overheard by: Looking for an apartment Ghetto college girl: I'll talk to you later, I gots to get my learn on, girl. –Brooklyn College Overheard by: Corey
JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer. –Spot’s Café JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies! –Hunter College Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine. –University & 12th JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion! –17th & 6th NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight! –Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm Overheard by: Maya G. Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time. –1 Train Overheard by: Ponine
Professor: So I told my grad students they could have an A if they earned it, or if they beat me in a 12-minute cage fight. –Fordham Universityy Israeli politics professor, after class: There's enough Tylenol out there to take care of your hangovers after Purim. So, all your sorry little asses better be in this class at three o'clock, Wednesday afternoon. –Yeshiva University English professor: Yeah, the end of the poem relates to the beginning. Every good poem has a return… just like a good walk. –Hunter college Professor: Of course there was marital harmony! As we all know, the family who cuts drugs together, stays together. –Fordham Law School Overheard by: EntertainedStudent Professor: An example of synecdoche would be, "get your ass over here." You want all of them, not just their ass. But sometimes, you do just want their ass. And we all know how that goes. But that sort of thing doesn't happen in a classroom… usually. –NYU Overheard by: queenofscots
High school boy #1: Man, you should just do what your body's telling you to.
High school boy #2: You mean to grow a mustache? –Hunter College High School
Woman: …Then they gave him enemas until it ran clear. Now he hasn’t had a movement in three days. Should I be worried? –Subway Suit: Yeah, I just left a floater in the upstairs bathroom. –44th & 3rd Ambiguously gay actor: Flowers come out. Girls do not poop, ever. Ever! –Tisch School of the Arts, NYU Overheard by: a girl who poops Freshman chick: I am so not in the mood to take a shit right now. –Restroom, Hunter College Cherubic blonde chick to another: You know that ‘BM’ means poop, right? –Metropolitan Museum of Art Suit-in-training: Oh, yeah, I do have to take a shit — I forgot. –NYU Stern Building Guy waiting for stall: Let’s go gang, push it out! We gotta go out here! –Manhattan Mall Overheard by: KeeZ
Crazy lady: Excuse me! Girls, can you adopt a dog or a cat? You know that many animals need homes.
Chick #1: Oh, we’d love to, but we can’t have pets.
Chick #2: Yeah, our dorms don’t allow animals
Crazy lady: Oh, you’re in college?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Crazy lady: At the law school?
Chick #3: No, Hunter.
Crazy lady: I thought that Hunter was for the Blacks. –23rd & Lexington Overheard by: Kaitlyn
Train conductor: If anyone sees a blue and yellow backpack, please give it to the train conductor. Jason has a test and he needs to study. –4 Train Overheard by: heather Random guy walking into the ferry station: I figured if I took the test high, I'd get high scores. –Staten Island Ferry Station Overheard by: mindy Professor: These pop quizzes are like making love: you don't get any points for speed, you get them for accuracy. –Psych Class, Hunter College Overheard by: I completely agree Undergrad: I don't even want to look at my art history midterm yet, but if I don't know how I did, I'll go crazy! It's like a Catch-66! Anyway, I'm going to head back to my dorm and put on some pants. –Butler Library, Columbia University
Hipster waitress to another: Camel toe is like, really hot, but also really uncomfortable. –Williamsburg College guy to friend: Dude, I'd definitely date a dude who looked like a hot chick… It's not gay. –Hunter College Overheard by: Stephen Professor: Welcome to CUNY, it's like menopause. It's either too hot or too cold. –City University of New York Latino girl on cell: Bitch, please. I'm gonna look mad hot tonight. I'ma comb my hair! –American Apparel Male professor: I don't care how hot Brad Pitt is… If he sits on my lap, nothing's going to happen! –New York Institute of Technology Overheard by: Not Brad Pitt
Guy: I’ve started calling vaginas “Panninis.”
Girl: You dug this hole!
Guy: Yeah, and now I’m gonna bury myself in it -which is great, because it’s the perfect size to fit my dead corpse! –Hunter College Overheard by: Therese