Professor: So I told my grad students they could have an A if they earned it, or if they beat me in a 12-minute cage fight. –Fordham Universityy Israeli politics professor, after class: There's enough Tylenol out there to take care of your hangovers after Purim. So, all your sorry little asses better be in this class at three o'clock, Wednesday afternoon. –Yeshiva University English professor: Yeah, the end of the poem relates to the beginning. Every good poem has a return… just like a good walk. –Hunter college Professor: Of course there was marital harmony! As we all know, the family who cuts drugs together, stays together. –Fordham Law School Overheard by: EntertainedStudent Professor: An example of synecdoche would be, "get your ass over here." You want all of them, not just their ass. But sometimes, you do just want their ass. And we all know how that goes. But that sort of thing doesn't happen in a classroom… usually. –NYU Overheard by: queenofscots
High school boy #1: Man, you should just do what your body's telling you to.
High school boy #2: You mean to grow a mustache? –Hunter College High School
Woman: …Then they gave him enemas until it ran clear. Now he hasn’t had a movement in three days. Should I be worried? –Subway Suit: Yeah, I just left a floater in the upstairs bathroom. –44th & 3rd Ambiguously gay actor: Flowers come out. Girls do not poop, ever. Ever! –Tisch School of the Arts, NYU Overheard by: a girl who poops Freshman chick: I am so not in the mood to take a shit right now. –Restroom, Hunter College Cherubic blonde chick to another: You know that ‘BM’ means poop, right? –Metropolitan Museum of Art Suit-in-training: Oh, yeah, I do have to take a shit — I forgot. –NYU Stern Building Guy waiting for stall: Let’s go gang, push it out! We gotta go out here! –Manhattan Mall Overheard by: KeeZ
Crazy lady: Excuse me! Girls, can you adopt a dog or a cat? You know that many animals need homes.
Chick #1: Oh, we’d love to, but we can’t have pets.
Chick #2: Yeah, our dorms don’t allow animals
Crazy lady: Oh, you’re in college?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Crazy lady: At the law school?
Chick #3: No, Hunter.
Crazy lady: I thought that Hunter was for the Blacks. –23rd & Lexington Overheard by: Kaitlyn
Train conductor: If anyone sees a blue and yellow backpack, please give it to the train conductor. Jason has a test and he needs to study. –4 Train Overheard by: heather Random guy walking into the ferry station: I figured if I took the test high, I'd get high scores. –Staten Island Ferry Station Overheard by: mindy Professor: These pop quizzes are like making love: you don't get any points for speed, you get them for accuracy. –Psych Class, Hunter College Overheard by: I completely agree Undergrad: I don't even want to look at my art history midterm yet, but if I don't know how I did, I'll go crazy! It's like a Catch-66! Anyway, I'm going to head back to my dorm and put on some pants. –Butler Library, Columbia University
Hipster waitress to another: Camel toe is like, really hot, but also really uncomfortable. –Williamsburg College guy to friend: Dude, I'd definitely date a dude who looked like a hot chick… It's not gay. –Hunter College Overheard by: Stephen Professor: Welcome to CUNY, it's like menopause. It's either too hot or too cold. –City University of New York Latino girl on cell: Bitch, please. I'm gonna look mad hot tonight. I'ma comb my hair! –American Apparel Male professor: I don't care how hot Brad Pitt is… If he sits on my lap, nothing's going to happen! –New York Institute of Technology Overheard by: Not Brad Pitt
Guy: I’ve started calling vaginas “Panninis.”
Girl: You dug this hole!
Guy: Yeah, and now I’m gonna bury myself in it -which is great, because it’s the perfect size to fit my dead corpse! –Hunter College Overheard by: Therese
Professor: I have nothing against horse rapists, generally speaking. –New School University Overheard by: Evan Gilmer Psychology professor: Chocolate may make you feel good, but cocaine will make you feel a lot better! –Barnard College Elderly history professor: I'm not sure of the consequences of what I'm saying, but I'm sure it's terribly important. –Pratt Institute Serious professor, on Freud: What's the matter, Anne, are you thinking about penis envy? –Classroom, Hunter College Overheard by: Rara Bearded professor: He drew an eye on the bird and asked me "do you know what this means?" (short pause) "I swallow." What do you say to that? –94th St & Broadway Overheard by: DI Elderly professor: You two ladies in the back want to cut the bullshit and listen to my brilliance? –Tisch School of the Arts Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Girl to boyfriend: Two years ago I saw your penis under a bright blue light. And it was small. –Penn Station Black guy to black friend: Her father does not want his daughter marrying someone from another race. What, is he scared that the kid will come out black and have a big nose? I'll tell you one thing–he'll have a big dick. –Bowery & 1st St Overheard by: Zach B Man to girl beside him: Mine isn't that big. But it's big enough for what I need it for. –6th Ave & 9th St Girl to friend: He had a big penis. It scared me. –Hunter College Overheard by: s0uthard Young teenage boy to another: You're telling me you have an 8.5 inch dick and you don't touch it? –M21 Bus Overheard by: zaarah
Hipster teenage girl: Holy crap, there's a midget! I love seeing midgets in the city. I always text my friends and say "there's a midget following me!" –Central Park Woman on cell: You and me can't eat twice. Midgets can eat twice. (pause) And babies can eat twice too! –5th Ave & 10th St Overheard by: Kody Theater teacher: Even though he was under four feet and she was over six feet, it wasn't that weird. I mean, that scene with the deep kissing, when the whole crew is watching, that was kind of… hot. (pause) No, no, I mean, I wasn't sitting there being like, "wow, this midget really turns me on!" I don't go on giantess. Come in my spare time… –Hunter College High School Sexy guy: Don't pretend you've never wondered what it would look like to see midgets make 600 chocolate casino dice. –Morningside Heights Overheard by: Ladle