Guy: I really hate the concept of Starbucks, but they really have the best product. –85th & Broadway Overheard by: Alison R.
Hipster chick: Ugh, dolls. Dolls are so creepy. I’m never letting my kid have a doll. Drugs, yes. Dolls, no. –UES
Guy #1: … And ‘K’ on a triple-letter score makes 45.
Chick-who-doesn’t-give-blowjobs: What’s that? ‘Upchuck’? That’s not a word!
Guy #1: I’m afraid it is, dear.
Chick #2: Yup.
Guy #1: Go to dictionary dot com — look it up.
Chick-who-doesn’t-give-blowjobs: And what does this word mean?
Guy #2: Well, upchuck is what you would do if you saw smegma.
Guy #1: Last time she saw smegma I got 42 points!
Chick #2, on computer: I just looked up ‘upchuck.’ It means ‘vomit.’
Guy #2: Smegma, upchuck… Mike, I’m noticing a pattern in your choice of words.
Guy #1: I just try to think of words that will get Tina really upset.
Chick-who-doesn’t-give-blowjobs: Well, thank you very much. Are you proud that you’re a disgusting pig?
Guy #1: I would say I’m at peace with myself. —Another Scrabble party, 34th & 2nd Overheard by: Big Larry
NYU guy: I was totally into Obama until we met Sarah Palin and now she has made me all Republican for her milfiness.
Friend: You know you don't get to fuck her just because you vote for her?
NYU guy: But I can only hope for my brothers in DC. You know like some Bill Clinton intern shit up in the White House, but this time with a hot mother instead of cigars and shit. –L Train Overheard by: Nikki
Hipster girl #1 as priest boards train: Oh my god, it’s a priest…!
Hipster girl #2: Shit, we have to be good! We’ll go to hell! Shit! I just said, ‘Shit’! I am going to hell!
Hipster girl #1: He’s staring at us now! –Metro North train, 125th St, Harlem
Student: Well, like, trickle down economics works on a small scale.
TA: In what circumstances do you mean?
Student: Well, like, in third world countries… You give a family a cow, or you can give them two cows, and then they watch them mate and they sell their milk.
TA: [Silence.] –NYU classroom, 13th & 4th
Girl: And it’s so weird to ask Jews if they are German. I just feel weird doing it, because of the Nazis and all. –Columbia University Overheard by: Dan
Woman stuck in bathroom, kicking and banging: Help me! [Inaudible yelling in Spanish.]
Conductor: Miss, don’t push the door, slide the door!
Man: Some people just shouldn’t be allowed on the train. –NJ Transit Overheard by: Erin
Long-haired dude: You penised his penis with your penis!
Creepy chick: Dude! That’s, like, penis cubed!
Long-haired dude: Damn. How many penises is that?
Creepy chick: Well, three. Penis times penis times penis. Duh. –56th & Lex Overheard by: i never passed math
A kid is trying to get bubblegum off his face.
Kid #1: Yo, you know you can use an ice cube to get that off.
Kid #2: Where the fuck am I supposed to get an ice cube now? Besides, how’s that gonna help?
Kid #1: Dumbass. When the gum is cold it’s not sticky anymore. Haven’t you ever chewed gum in the shower? –Uptown 6 train Overheard by: Bert