Archive for the ‘Idiots’ Category

Puts the ‘Narc’ in Narcissism

Girl looking in mirror: You know what? I would make a really good-looking crack whore.
Boy: What? … Probably. –Weinstein Residence Hall, NYU Overheard by: Emily Headline by: Ethan Runners-Up: · “All he heard was “whore”” – Marigumi · “Holding the mirror between her legs” – anne nahm · “I’ll agree with whatever gets me laid” – Dustin · “Lose a few teef, add a few bruises, I be shinin'” – Dingolite · “This Is Your Brain on Uggs” – NK
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She’s in British Columbia Denial

Girl #1: My brother drives between Alaska and Colorado once a year. It’s a really long drive.
Girl #2: Wait… I thought Alaska wasn’t connected to America.
Guy: It’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: So, there’s like, a bridge?
Guy: No. It’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: No, it’s not! It’s an island. Canada breaks up over there.
Guy: I swear to god, it’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: No! –Coffee shop, Mercer & 3rd

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What Do You Want? I’m from New York

Student: Well, like, trickle down economics works on a small scale.
TA: In what circumstances do you mean?
Student: Well, like, in third world countries… You give a family a cow, or you can give them two cows, and then they watch them mate and they sell their milk.
TA: [Silence.] –NYU classroom, 13th & 4th

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I Guess Skoal Doesn’t Count

A kid is trying to get bubblegum off his face. Kid #1: Yo, you know you can use an ice cube to get that off.
Kid #2: Where the fuck am I supposed to get an ice cube now? Besides, how’s that gonna help?
Kid #1: Dumbass. When the gum is cold it’s not sticky anymore. Haven’t you ever chewed gum in the shower? –Uptown 6 train Overheard by: Bert

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