Archive for the ‘Idiots’ Category

Who Allowed Miss South Carolina Speaking Privileges Again?

Man to coworker: Yeah, sometimes we hike up to mount Kilimanjaro in the summertime.
Stupid woman: Oh, mount Kilimanjaro…is that in Vermont?
Man (taken aback): Uh, actually, it's in Tanzania.
Stupid woman: Where is that?

–1221 Avenue of the Americas

Headline by: k swin

Runners-Up:
· “It’s Considered the Vermont Of Africa, If That Helps” – mac

· “It’s Next to “The Iraq”, Like Such As… Uh…” – Virginia
· “It’s Southwest Of Vermont” – Edmund H.
· “Oh, Like Any Of You Can Point It Out on a Map?” – Natty
· “President Obama Is Still Weeding Out Bush’s Staff….” – kim


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-Liners Prefer Subway Sandwiches

Lost-looking chick on cell: Why do they always fuck with the trains on weekends? Don't they know there are stoned people trying to get home?

–Subway Platform, Grand Central

Overheard by: Poogtastic

Loudspeaker dispatcher lady: Hey you! Uptown number 5! You better stop sticking your head out the window and answer me on the radio!

–Uptown 4,5,6 Train, Union Square

Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.

Elegant gentleman, as train starts to depart station: Oh, I didn't realize the train was going to move.

–Crowded Uptown 1 Train

MTA announcement: The uptown 1 train is running.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Krisztina

Dispatcher: The arriving train will be the next train. The arriving train will be the next train.

–G Train, Court Square

Overheard by: Katrink

Old man: I'm coming, train. I'm coming. I'm coming, train, you son of a bitch bastard!

–6 Train

That’s the Third Time This Week

Bimbette art student #1, pointing at fresh grapes: I don’t get why they call ‘olive-skinned’ people ‘olive-skinned’. No one’s skin is that color!
Bimbette art student #2, after closer inspection of fresh grapes: Yeah, but those olives look messed up, I think they’re fake. Real olives are, like, darker or something.
Bimbette art student #1: Yeah, those olives are too light, that’s it. No one’s skin is that color of… of light green.
Cashier: Uhm, are you ladies in line? Can I get you some… Grapes?
Bimbette art student #3: Yeah, those olives are totally fake, that must be it.
[Group leaves deli.]
Cashier
: Did that really just happen?


–27th & 5th