Woman: Do you have a non-fiction section?
Book guy: Well, everything that’s not fiction is non-fiction. [Over] there’s cooking, and there’s history.
Woman: No, that’s not what I asked. Do you have a section for non-fiction?
Book guy: Well, there are no non-fiction novels. Everything here that’s not a novel is non-fiction.
Woman: But you don’t have a non-fiction section?
Book guy: No. Everything that isn’t fiction is non-fiction.
–Barnes & Noble, Staten Island
Overheard by: Dr. Ballon
Archive for the ‘Idiots’ Category
Oh, Are They Getting Married?
Drunk Skank #1: …cause that’s what we’re celebrating.
Drunk Skank #2: What’re we celebrating?
Drunk Skank #1: The Bush/Cheney thing.
Drunk Skank #2: Oh yeah!
–49th and Broadway
Overheard by: Anne C.
Well I’ve drank Pepsi Edge, and I did use a cup
Guy: Of course I’ve drank kerosene. But it wasn’t like I used a cup, though. I used a siphon. –Astoria Overheard by: Stephie Russell
We Don’t Serve That Here
Customer: A hot coffee, please.
Cashier: Huh?
–Starbucks, 28th & 3rd
Actually, Mr. Dole, You Aren’t the President
A man hands a woman a brochure for erectile dysfunction. Man: I’m not only the president, I’m also a client. –MetroNorth Train Overheard by: Mark
Campaign Manager is the New 39
Reporter: Can I have your age?
Woman: Campaign manager.
–Daily News Office
Scariest Overheard Ever
Train Staffer #1: Did you do that terrorism training yet?
Train Staffer #2: No. I’m trying to avoid it.
Train Staffer #1: Yeah. I already missed the first one.
–PATH Train
Those Wacky Non-Christians
Woman: I’ve never seen so many cars out there.
Cashier: The Jewish people are praying.
Woman: Really?
Cashier: Yeah, I think tomorrow is the start of Ramadan.
–Wendy’s, Bensonhurst
Those Wacky Mexicans
Old Coot: When you take over someone’s empire, you get more of them coming in. I turned on the ball game, and the stadium was all Spanish! This guy came to talk to me from the Daily News, and it turned out to be El Diario! –Carmine St.
Wow, That’s So Vapid!
Bimbo: I’d put on a sweater and baggy pants, and everyone would be like, “Wow, that’s so Margello!” –Ave A & 3rd St.