Overweight woman: “I honesty think there must be a shortage of fabric or material because all shirts are baby tees and all pants are to small and low on the hips, I dont get it” – Manhattan
Woman upon seeing a Mariachi band walk by: Why do they have tambourines on their legs? – Manhattan
Woman (night of the New Hampshire primary): KERRY WON!!!!
Friend: What, American Idol? – Manhattan
Guy: If you’re a cokehead you can really climb the corporate ladder. That’s all those guys making six figures.
Girl: It’s in American Psycho.
Guy: Then they burn out and the new guys come in. –Lakeside Lounge, Ave. B
Male Employee: No, that’s hemophilia. Hypoglycemia is, like, when your
body produces more sugar than your system can handle.
Female Employee: Yeah! That’s me! –Lord & Taylor Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Twit: What’s that song Richard Marx sang?
Chick: Right Here Waiting.
Twit: There’s another one.
Chick: I don’t know.
Twit: It’s going to drive me crazy until I remember. Oh wait! I know! Right Here Waiting for You!
Chick: That’s the same song. –Winnie’s, Chinatown
Young Woman: Are you part Italian?
Older Woman: I’m Italian by injection! –Private party, NYC
Yuppie: We shouldn’t be using our brains to simulate monkeys. –Broadway & 72nd
Guy: So…after she says that, I said, “Who would have ever thought to just cook lettuce?”
Girl: Woooooooooow. –Bedford Street off Bleecker
Idiot: Happiness is a sandwich. –Quizno’s, 14th Street