Archive for the ‘Illness’ Category

Lions, and Tigers, and Wednesday One-Liners — Oh My!

20-something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies. –Starbucks, West Village Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings! –Broadway Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I'm unstoppable! I'm like an ox! –1 Train Overheard by: Rose Fox NYU girl: My mother was like, "what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?" and I was like, "what wouldn't you do with a giant inflatable turkey?" –3rd Ave & 14th St Overheard by: Mickey

The Country Finally Gets the Wednesday One-Liner It Deserves

20-something guy to five-year-old boy: No, Wolverine and Barack Obama are not the same person. –Hudson Park Soccer Pitch Overheard by: Kelli Jo Swag guy: Get your Obama condoms, put it on when times get hard. –7th Ave & 47th St Overheard by: Oh no he didn't…. Hobo on train: Look at these two girls! If we get married we can make another Obama! –4 Train Cute boy: Captain Kirk is the Bush to Picard's Obama. –Kent Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: Trekkie Diner to companion: Since Obama's been President, North Korea has fired like two missiles. They're testing his foreign policy, uh, you know, they're testing his gallstones. –Teddy's Restaurant, Brooklyn Overheard by: Ken Yapelli Sock street vendor to passersby: Socks! One dollar, one dollar! One dollar!
(nobody pays attention) Socks! One dollar! Obama! One dollar! Obama! (a few pedestrians stop to browse through his socks) –New Chinatown, Flushing, Queens

Wednesdays Wish They Could Be More Like One-Liners

White teenage boy to black teenage boy: She thinks I am a rapist or something.
(black teenage boy giggles) Which I am cool with, you know what I mean? –Bay Ridge Ave & 4th Ave Brunette Guido girl: Ohmigosh, you would love this girl, she's like, the only cool blonde person. This one time she was just like "Dude, can we just do the peace-and-love thing? Cause, I don't know how to fight." –LIRR Overheard by: whaaasgood Fashion intern: I had swine flu last year, before it was cool. –Cafeteria, Hearst Tower Overheard by: interns are our future Bike rider on phone, walking with girlfriend: I don't have his number, but you can call Tom* and go down there. Those guys are pretty cool. You can just go down there and give them a prostate massage. –Riverside Park