Archive for the ‘Incest’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners for the Royal Family

Guy: Yeah, but it's not that hard to keep your mother from having sex with you. –Washington Heights Overheard by: V Man, seriously: If I could marry my daughter I would. –Duke's Deli, SoHo Random moviegoer: I have to admit the incest was tastefully done. –Outside IFC Center Overheard by: when is it ever? Suit on cell: I'm in love with my cousin. –Williamsburg, Brooklyn Overheard by: Sean C. Very gay man to another: I don't know, I'm just not attracted to him at all! Maybe because he's my brother… –Greenwich Ave & 7th Ave Overheard by: Lily Caulfield Man shouting to friend: Incest free for a whole three weeks! Yeah! –1 Train

Grandma, What Big Wednesday One-Liners You Have!

Girl on cell: Stop talking about my grandmother’s ba-donka-donk! –6th & 2nd Girl on cell: So, she walked in on me getting out of the shower again this morning… Yeah, I guess I could put a lock on the door, but I’m really starting to think that my grandma just likes seeing me naked in the morning. –School of Visual Arts Overheard by: dobby Chick on cell: What should I get for Grandma? No, I’m not at a mall, I’m on the street… No, I don’t see anything she’d like, unless… Do you think Grandma wants a bong? –St. Mark’s Pl Overheard by: Heather Dude to hot chick: I’d rather have sex with you than my grandma. –1 train Overheard by: bldlube Guy on cell: So then he’s like, ‘Dude, are you in prison again?’ And I was like, ‘No, dude, I’m talking to you online. How could I be in prison?’ And he was like, ‘There was a computer when I was in prison. I mean, you had to suck dick to get online, but whatever.’ And I was like, ‘Dude, I’m at my grandma’s house. We’re having tea and shit.’ –E 14th St & Irving

The Weird Science of Wednesday One-Liners

Dude: It weirds me out when deaf people can talk. –Bryant Park Chick: There’s a house, and he grew up in that house, and now he lives in that house. How weird. How local. –N train, Queens Overheard by: Morgan Guy: I want a giant tattoo of Weird Al and Thomas Dolby shaking hands. –Bar, Lower East Side Hipster on cell: Is wanting a bed-and-breakfast, a weed garden, and a forest full of Thai tranny fawns so fucking weird? –Houston and Elizabeth Girl: So we were at her house the other day smoking pot, and I was like, ‘This pot tastes weird.’ And I asked John if it tasted weird and he said, ‘Yeah, it does.’ So I asked her if she had been using her crack pipe to smoke pot out of again and she said, ‘Oops.’ –20th St & 8th Ave Bright-purple-mohawk guy to shaved-head girl with multiple nose piercings: Your best friend is so weird! –12th St & University Pl Overheard by: Joe Suit on cell: Yeah, it’s kind of weird dating my sister. –33rd & 7th

Wednesday One-Liners Have a Complicated Genealogy

Man on crowded train: If my mother were here, I’d sit on her lap. –Downtown A train Overheard by: not his mother Amateur anthropologist: It’s not incest unless it’s, like, your brother. –E 72nd Mom, to teenage son: Darling, sweetie, love of my life, I’ve accepted that you’re gay, haven’t I? And there’s a lot more that I’m willing to accept. But if there is one thing I’m not ok with, it’s flat-ironing my son’s hair. Ask your sister. –Uptown 6 train Woman on cell: You did what?…Why the fuck would you do that?…Yeah, I know he’s your cousin, but you didn’t have to tell him that I slept with his brother. I was going to tell him…When?…After we got married!! –13th & University Girl, digging through purse: Shit, I think my cousin robbed me. –Urban Outfitters, Bleecker & Broadway Overheard by: intern Screaming woman: I’m not in your house; I’m in the middle of the street! Stop making fun of my grandmother! –W 139th St, 2 a.m. Overheard by: Isha Girl on cell: I don’t look at him like a father; I look at him like the man who gave birth to me. –Port Authority Overheard by: Cat