Archive for the ‘India Indians’ Category

…He'd Like a Large Pepperoni Pizza, Please.

Construction man to Indian restaurant server: Can I get a chicken lo mein?
Server: Uh… That's Chinese food, this is an Indian food restaurant. The Chinese take-out is next door, but it's closed.
Construction man to walkie talkie: Hey, Charlie, this is a Thai place and they don't have chicken lo mein. Want something else instead? –Indian Restaurant, Brooklyn Bridge Overheard by: HungryMan

On the Plus Side, It Doubles As Spackle.

Skinny Indian girl: It's hot in here.
Chunky white girl: Too hot.
Skinny Indian girl: Well, at least it's better than too cold.
Chunky white girl: How so?
Skinny Indian girl: Well, now I can wear a t-shirt.
Chunky white girl: Yeah, but like, if it gets too hot we can't be whipping our clothes off. Nobody needs to see my pale shit.
Skinny Indian girl: Yeah, true.
Chunky white girl: Shit, girl. I have to buy my foundation at funeral homes. –The Met

George W. Bush: “Is Our Children Wednesday One-Linering?”

Ghetto mother, about daughter: She hard on herself when it comes to her grades. That comes from her father. I told him, "you better stop that, or else you're gonna bust her brain." –Uptown 2 Train Overheard by: Raven Truant girl on cell: I didn't! (pause) No, I didn't! (pause) I didn't skip! (pause) I didn't go! It's not the same thing! (pause) No, it isn't! (pause) I didn't go anyplace! I didn't go to somebody's house or nothing! (pause) It's not the same! I didn't skip! I just didn't go! (pause) No, it's not the same! It is not! –8th Ave & 50th St Overheard by: stephie Proctor, seeing a student come into testing room: Hey, aren't you that kid who was smokin' yesterday? Oh, yeah, that's right, you're the one that flipped me the bird! Now I have yo' name and yo' ID numba, and I can call up yo' parents… Today is just my lucky day! –Stuyvesant High School Long Island guy: I can't wait to get back to college. The girls there are so hot. I can't wait to get my DNA on em, know what I'm sayin'? –LIRR Indian chick on cell: What's good? I'm not taking Hindi anymore, that's what's good! Hellll fuckin yeahhh! Whoooo!! –Astor Place Overheard by: me neither

Some Lengthy Wednesday One-Liners

Man on cell walking dog: What? But doesn't she know how big my Johnson is? –Mott Street Overheard by: Erica 20-something male, while passing sculpture of male nude: I don't get it. If you're going to make it with a dick, why make it so small? –Time Warner Center Overheard by: sd Short Indian man, loudly into phone: All I wanna do is make love to you tonight… with my 11-inch cock! –7th Ave & 35th St Overheard by: Jenn B Drunk guy, after fighting with girlfriend: How she gon' be mad at me 'cause I got a big dick? –F Train