Archive for the ‘Infidelity’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Keep It in the Family

Guy on cell: Well, right now my brother and my girlfriend share a bedroom.

–Washington Square North

Overheard by: Daniel

Young nanny to six-year-old girl, crossing the street: What do you care about more, your brother or your scooter?

–76th St & Central Park West

Overheard by: Sonny

Daughter to obnoxious mom: Just because you are a member of my family doesn't mean I won't backhand you.

–NYU Coles Sports Center

Overheard by: Maria

Man to woman, while crossing street: Look, all I'm saying is there are a lot of men who like your sister even more then they like you–and that's saying a lot!

–6th Ave & 13th St

Overheard by: Wemily

At This Point in Time, I Have No Recollection Of Those Wednesday One-Liners

Girl: I only remember things when I insult them!

–Bronx High School of Science

Overheard by: urbanadventurer

College dude: I remember this place… We were here last night right before I blacked out!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Amanda

Girl on cell: Okay, if you're stopping by my house, remember to bring that shirt you borrowed from me. Mmm-hmm. By the way, your husband wants to get it on with another dude.

–Union Square

Woman on cell: Alright, honey, have a fun bachelor party. Just promise me you'll get shit-faced, fall-on-your-ass drunk so you can't remember any of those strippers. Okay?

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Wait. What?

Wednesday One-Liners Make Your Eyes Water

Young man to another: And I was like, "No, man. A girl ain't supposed to smell like that, yo."

–Broadway & 37th St

Overheard by: glm

Loud Long Island woman to drunk friends: Yeah, I got really used to that smell once he came back from Nepal…

–LIRR

Guy to girl: I don't want to bring home a girl who smells like urine.

–36th & 5th

Hipster 20-something to preteen sister: This does not smell like Costa Rica! (pauses, as though to make sure) 14th Street in New York City does not smell like Costa Rica!

–14th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: David

Man complaining to friend: If she does that one more time… I mean, if that bitch comes home one more time with her breath smelling like some other guy's dick, I swear to fucking god… I'll leave her.

–Times Square

Overheard by: drekdude

Wednesday One-Liners Were “Working Late”

Girl on phone: I'm so sick of this! He keeps making excuses not to see me! I feel like I'm being used! (pause) No, really. (pause) I just can't deal anymore! We only hang out when he wants sex! (pause) And his excuses! Ohmigod! They are getting so lame. (pause) If it's not his work or boss, it's his nanny or his wife or his kid. (pause) I mean… what's his deal?

–Broadway & 20th St

Overheard by: Cali in NYC

Hispanic woman: And meanwhile the husband is in fucking Iraq, and she cheats on him with the UPS guy! What can brown do for you!

–7th Ave, Park Slope

Suit on cell: The love, the dirty sex, and the money… It's all going so well, and yet so sneaky. (hangs up, then dials another number) Mary, I think he's finding out… (pause) It's not my fault I am fucking my best friend's wife.

–79th St & Madison

Overheard by: Anna

Girl yapping on cell: It was amazing. I mean, I looked hot. (pause) Yes, I wore the naked dress. He took one look at me and had the "Uh-oh, can't control myself" expression. (pause) No, girl, his fucking wife is in town! I mean, whatever.

–51st St & Lexington Ave

Woman: He cheated… On JDate!

–26th & 8th